2 years of tolerated bliss

As much as I love this little spit ball, she sure does get the best of me. Here are 2 years in review.

She is getting so smart and lively. her favorite thing to do is call out "mommy" until I go temporarily insane. Her record is 20 time in a row so far, I almost snapped.

Terms of Endearment

Dear Naar BEar:

I just wanted to let you know, that I forgot my cell phone today at home. I was rushing out of the house to try and get to work on time, and I left it on the charger. I didn't realize how fast the juice runs out when you call people and let the thing just ring and ring, then wait for a call back. So there it sits, still charging. Only T-Mobile know just how long it takes to refresh that battery. (sigh)

So, I just wanted to let you know that I would call you but I can't. I'm at work thinking to myself, now would be a good time to call my big sis, but I can't (Chuckle out loud). We could talk and laugh and I just can't. Since I can't call, I'll write. So here I am writing (big sigh). I guess I'd rather talk since I'm at work and filling out that grant application for my poor students just sounds so blah, ya know. So here I sit writing ( big big sigh).

I mean a good ol fashion letter is a thing of the past now that we have e-mail and cell phones, but my cell phone is charging right now, and I guess a letter was just the perfect way for me to say hey.

So HEy (another audible chuckle)!

Oh yeah, I read your blog, you're so silly. Only you could be so silly. I'd call to tell you that myself, but my cell phone is charging.

Hey, I know. I'll call you when I get home because then my cell might be fully charged and we can wear that thing down one more time. Then maybe I'll write you another letter. What a vicious cycle I'm creating (cackle)

I'll call you later.

Bye,

LaShay

Can do--Can't do

I'm sitting here starring at my students because that's what I am suppose to do during testing (a.k.a typing and surfing net). My new school dist. gives the students food and water during testing to spark brain activity...
Nice hook up for the LaShay
I'm staring at a student who has her head covered and I see her reading the package of her fruit snacks, I realize that she is looking for evidence of pork. Apparently, there may be prok resi in a bag of fruit snacks, because they sit unopened on her desk. Bonus, more food for me.
Another student told me she can't pray today, I inquired, she said because she's dirty right now....
I flipped out, I said you are not dirty because your body is functining and doing what it is designed to do... she agreed but said that is just was the way it is...
2 other students piped in and said that they were dirty and that they can't do a lot of things because of this fact. I asked, "is there any thing a man can do that would make him dirty and keep him from prayer?" They said no.
I said then it was rubbinsh. They can smoke weed, beat a woman, rape a woman, fornicate, knock up several women and still not be kept from prayer. Apparently so!
Needless to say I was irate: I made a public notice in my class that regardless of what goes on in their household, they will never be seen as unequal or dirty in my classroom.

This fell on deaf ears as they began to argue that men were more valuable as a whole.
I stopped the arguing immediately and said , not in my class!

Rules, rules, rules, that's all they have, demeaning, worthless, rules. The can-do and can't-do is endless and it only leads to more man-made rules. And the only reseult is a feeling of complete worthlessness for all who believe and follow the same and sometimes different endless, pointless rules.
People, I live in complete freedom. Not even my own stupidity and aimlessness at times can keep me from this innate, internal, and eternal freedom.
The very reason why these girls are told they are dirty (because of blood) is the very reason I am free (BECASUE OF HIS BLOOD). Jesus blood has never held me down, put me in a box, or demeaned me.
COMPLETE FREEDOM!
I have a can-do attitude today, and I can eat any kind of fowl creature i want. My gas may be bad, but it can't defile me. I don't have to cover my self, becasue if my beauty causes you to stumble, good for me, bad for you. "this why I'm hot, you ain't cuz you not." (please refer to actual retarded rap lyrics http://http://www.completealbumlyrics.com/lyric/131227/MIMS+-+This+is+why+I), I Can pray when ever I feel like cuz Jesus operates by the "open door" policy (please refer to Matthew http://http://www.biblelookup.com/cgi-bin/pbible.pl?maxhits=10&mode=context&corpus=nt&from=&to=&step=5&searchstring=ask&version=rsv&searchtype=find&boolop=exact&subs=+Next++%3E). MY RANT IS DONE

She's eating the fruit snacks... apaprently it's prok-free. Let's hope for her and the rule's sake.

Response to Naar Bear's lime light

In all fairness and love, I felt like I needed to respond and pretend that she could read my thoughts... I may sound funnier in my head, but it's still worth some ink and eye time.

her initial response blue, mine red
Naarah N Hanson
1. FULL NAME- Naarah Nethanieh
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Tuesday after being so angry at Jason for leaving a tee shirt on the counter for more than 24 hours. Come on folks, I have 5 weeks left in this pregnancy. Crazy , not just pregnancy
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes. It is really pretty
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Roast beef yumm beef
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WHO WOULD YOU BE? Are you kidding? I rock…but if it had to be anyone, it would be Esther They always want to be a Princess, not a servant or a commoner!
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes, these days we call it a blog Techy snobery
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Nope-gone at first grade
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No way! jumping out of her car, is very similar to bungee jumping.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Life
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes more like unvelcros
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I not only think I am, I know I am. very indecisive, signs of weakness folks
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Vanilla boring
14. Shoe size? 6.5 (size midget)
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Cankles (copy cat, but I can't say anything, because I'm too busy empathizing)
17.WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My sisters-everyday, every minute. Why fon't you answer you phone then?
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK? No She actually does, she keeps track of her incoming personal mail, and then talleyies up her wam fuzzies at the end of the day!
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Dark blue denim and camel colored sling backs (homo say what?)
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Wheat fig newton (they're not a cookie)
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Some Christian talk show pitting an atheist and his wife against two local preachers against each other. Fight! Fight! IN good ol Easter spirit
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Mid Night Blue Dark like her heart!
23. FAVORITE SMELL? New books gay
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Some guy who wanted to know if he got the job or not. Snore. gayer
25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Nose gayest
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes quality response no retort
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Water w/ lemon-at least right now
28. FAVORITE SPORT? Wow, I am good at so many. Um, watching or playing? I am no good at doing either. proof of a short attention span, didn't even respond to the question, also proof of narcissism.
29. EYE COLOR? Brown similar to poop
30. HAT SIZE? Stalking caps come “one size fits all”
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes
32. FAVORITE FOOD? Salads right now, but when not pregnant I really enjoy Asian foods Asians' food is good enough but not their driving, so condescending!
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I can’t even sit through movies anymore. Ditto
34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Peach What is this flash back to the 80's who wears Peach? (I do all the time)
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer
36. HUGS OR KISSES? Yuck She prefers slapping
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Brownie Yummy
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Dennis
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Fight for Jerusalem By Dore Gold
41. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don’t have one Another jab at non-techy individuals
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? America’s Next Top Model and a Poker Tournament GAy to the 3rd power, please refer to "I just got Dumber" blog
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? GG talking to herself bloviating is what ORiely refers to uit as...
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Um, neither.
45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Costa Rica
46. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Making up words that is striaght redonculous and exazurbated!
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Albany,MN (nowheresville)
48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?La-Shay hotty from midwest, recognize

Dang birds and their tra la la nature!

When you buy a house in the quasi-forrest area of MO, the birds come with the house.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I love birds, yes I do. But apparnetly, I have never had birds for neighbors, or shall I say sqautters

These sorry singers keep me up all day long when I'm trying to nap, then they have the nerve to wake me at the buttcrack of the morning.

This is God's way of getting my prayers answered. I made a simple request to get up earlier, but when I stay up too late reading or watching embarassing mind-numbing cable, I do not welcome the dawn with excitement and glee.

A genius would say "close your windows", but its much too hot to sleep and too refreshing to keep the windows open for that fresh clean air. What is worse is that all of my bedroom windows have tall trees starrng inside. Cursed birds with their loud sqauking and chirping. tra la la, oh look I'm a bird in your window, cheep hoot cheep! Mary Poppins can kiss my grits with her duet with the birds, she apparently is an early riser. And why is it the high pitched ones that perch their feathery butts up high on the trees to sing in my window.

CURSED BIRDS, Joe get the chain saw!

Awkward 101

It has actually happened folks!

I received a butt slap at work today. I'mm not sure what warrented it or how to explain it, except, I feel a bit dirty, way awkward!

The slap came from a 50 year old-menopausal fellow co-worker. We were just talking casual "co- worker talk", ya know "can't wait for the weekend", "Spring Break won't come soon enough", "I need to work out", "can't seem to shed the pounds..." I hand her a folder of a fun game I play with my kids to review vocab words, and she thanks me and as I turn to walk away, KAPOW, I recieve a butt slap, and the worst part is, it stung.

So I ask you, accident that I let go and just feel gross about? or Issue that needs to be address?

She is after all a close talker, merely inches from the ol eye balls.

Way friendly to everyone however, I don't get special attention.

I think I will wear a pillow in my pants tomorrow for the following reasons: A- so it doesn't sting if it happens again, b- so maybe I won't feel it at all if it happens again, as well as C- to commemorate JLo's birthday and attract more black men.

I'm going to shower now!

Aunty

This is a blog a long time comin but AUnty Jada came to see us. She had so much fun with us. It was like having a second me around, but this me talked A WHOLE HECK OF ALOT! Anywho, it was good times. We went to historical downtown Parkville and shopped, I watched her shop on a time limit.
We cooked almost everynight.

We watched the kids do cute kid stuff.

They went outside to play in the MO snow and warmth.

We had a blast.

Wrastlers

There must be a manual that all 4,5,6, year old boys get that instruct them on how to wrestle like the pros. These boys were getting tough with each other. I was surprised that they didn't try and pee on my chase lounge for territorial reasons.
I made them shake hands to prove that they were still buds, but then someone went for a choke hold. Momentary peace works for me!
I could only walk away and let the best boy win.

Mr. Hoppity

Just in time for Easter I have my very own Mr. Hoppity. He's not as quiet as a rabbit, and he certainly isn't as furry and cuddley and he eats a heck of a lot more than just lettuce. His real name is I-snapped-my-achilles-tendon-while-playing-flag-football, a.k.a Joe. He's not really a rabbit folks, he's my husband. His right butt cheek and thigh is super buff, and he's about as graceful as a skid loader on wet grass, but he's got the speed of a jaguar on one foot. Bless his little heart!

disproportioned baby

Ava's hitting her shoe phase. Not only are her thighs in dramatic disproportion to her body, but now her feet look all awkward now that she likes to wear everyone else's shoes but her own. Gabe's shoes are now her target.

mail oxymoron

Speaking of quagmire.
I receive junk mail and as a rule abiding citizen I have no clue how to get rid of it now. Those junk mailers are out smarting us by the day.
Stay one step ahead folks... they're only gonna get trickier.
If anyone wants to buy a box-load of opened junk mail that you can't throw away holla at a gangta I'll over night it!

A true sick trooper

9:30am woke up with snot glued to my forehead and a slew of poo in my doo. (we're learning ryhming words at school, APPLIED!)
9:32 Mom discovered poo, funny!
9"35 hungry as all get out, wandered around with mom upstairs until she got her head together
9:40 Empty tray,gave hints that mom was too slow with up and coming waffles, failed attempt
9:40.5 started crying, mom thought it was cute, snapped a photo, then gave me cinni waffles
9:41 Can't taste a darn thing, where's Percy?
9:42 Got thirsty, fridge too tall. DANG. Whined at fridge to someone got me liquid refreshment, the Spaniards call this agua.
9:45 Really needed some lovin, sat on mom's lap for 2 mintues, that was enough to refill my love bank.
9:47 decided to color all over Gabe's reader. What is that strange noise?
9:47.5 oh I'm jibber jabberin..wierd... it just keeps going...blah blah blah blah, I wonder if any one else can hear it too?
9:48 look 2 crayons Raw talent.
9:50 sneezed my brains practically right out of my eye sockets. Mom gave me a tissue and told me to wipe my nose. I licked the tissue instead just to see what she'd do. She just laughed and took another photo. What is that woman good for?
9:52 Watched the Food Network for a few, yumm beef bourgoin, I made that this morning all ready... boredom hits
9:55 STill bored of all this crap and decided to wander around the kitchen
10am Mom tells me all these photos were to show up cuz GG, we're off to blog. I downloaded the photos myself.

Church #3

We were really excited about chuch #3. The drive was nice, 5 minutes from home base, the oarking lot was alright, a bit icey for my taste, and the entrance was inviting. Like acozy coffee house (first warning). The greeter walked up cheerfully with jeans on and a cuddly turtleneck on (smile +, coffee 2nd warning). Dropping off the kids to the kids ministry was fine, no big tells there... Entering service, the greeter whispers just sit anywhere don't worry about it being dark. My thoughts were, well great I'll just sit on this fat ladies lap then because the only light in the place is on the actor on stage monologuing.
We walked in on the middle of the "Drama" as an aspiring actoress I'm thinking, I could do that...but do I want to. The play was about believeing in your self, ...follow up song was CHeryl Crows "I will Believe"... enter minister, pastor, no title man Roy (there are no titles at this church, they want to seem unchurched), so this guys couldn't be called pastor, just Roy in tight faded jeans & flannel, his Bible if that what it was, lookes like a book of poems he tinkeres with every now & again.
In the back were tables with candles in the middle and2-3 chairs surrounding each, and I could hear the slurpping of coffee, the liquid stew could be smelled everywhere because everyone had their travel mug, sipping as they listened to ROY; like a bunch of addicts clinging to their vices they can't put it down for 1 or 2 hours (joe and my ultimate pet peeve about the mid west). I saw one lady whip out her Bible, but I'm not sure why cuz Roy only paraphrased through the whole sermon (speech for the unchurhced)what his intended chapter and verse was all about.
LISTEN READER: if you're going to shadow a church door, let's bring it on the whole bit, give me the worship (not present at church #3, the praying (which there was none except at the end but you wouldn't have known it cuz the lights were out again), I'd like to see the people in the church and not to heckle them, but to know who the heck you are when we leave the place.
Everything is so secretive or set around everyone's comfort zones. Jesus made people uncomfy, duh, that's why they killed HIM. He hung in public for a nonexistant sin, DUH. So why can't these white folks up here swallow a bit of there pride and turn the lights on, put down the coffee, clap their hands (on beat is not an expectation), raise em high if you know why your worshiping and all the other stuff will grow on ya later.
Suck it up people, Jesus makes you want to do things you never wanted to do before: sing, dance, love ugly people, like dumb people. .. I'll stop here before I get in trouble.
Joe's in the bathroom dropping the kids off at the pool while singing Young Jeezy's song "I'm a go getta".
That should take the spot light off of me for a bit!

Goodbye ATL hello KCMO

Not another one Michals!

Sea of white folks

Today was a tiring day. Not only did I not work, but I also attended my first ever professional development day. Instead of being professionally developed, I developed a professional complex. Not only am I no longer "whitey" in a sea of non whities, a tab bit odd really, but I am totally out of my element Donny!
Apparently I laugh too loud for these folks up here, they don't like my music, there is no slang in the work place, and I had to explain what "the 4-1-1" means not only to my foreign kids, but also to my fellow staff members! Ugh ( it mean what's the information ya'll)
I digress: At my Prof Development...
no one looked at me, no random acts of dancing occurred, no raising of the roof of any kind, nor
"girl how you been doin" shout-outs across the room were not present anywhere.
Everyone walked quietly along there merry ways and when they talked in groups I totally couldn't hear their conversations.
If people don't like me they sure are good at faking it, not cool! I'd rather know.
The great White transition has really affected me. Every day I get into my truck and rock out with RICHBOY "Just bought a Cadillac, Put's some D's on it" or may be a bit of Young Jeezy " And I love it" Some times to remind me of my hood I bounce with a little T.I. (he's my babies father) "I got my top laid back and my beat real low." too top it all off, "My babies father ," is not understood here either.

I just blended in here, I'm too fat to be hot, I'm too old to be hip, I'm now just another one of those folks that blends into the crowd with all the other tall short, thin, fat people who teach here.

So far my kids love me, the good news is none of them look like me, home sweet home. I teach ELL and most of my kids are from Micronesia (get a map and look all the way down to the right, past Australia), Russia, the Hispanics are representing, so are the Somalis with their headdresses. I have a few Iranians to stir into my multi-ethnic mix.
Love em as much as I do, it is a challenge to teach here in MO, but not because of the kids. The teachers have an heir of self importance and arrogance, they don't want to teach my kids because their foreign. I'm still a bit confused by this...
Any who...
Our church search is not going as well as I had hoped for. Church #1 had a laser light show during worship, if ever there was a moment where the Spirit was chased out of me, it happened when the laser flashed across my face in mid song.
Church #2 was going real strong until the Pastor started singing a Temptations song within his sermon, and at the end they had a spontaneous group jog around the church, most were in high heels and I couldn't keep up with them!
Church #3 is yet to be attended, you'll know when we have settled into a church...

I'm not complaining, life is really simple 15 minutes to work, Ava's school 1 mile from home, Gabe loves his school. Joe tore his Achilles Tendon, surgery on Thursday, recovery until July.
God is real good, life has just begun for us here and we're ready for the challenge.

i just got dumber

Tyra just made me dumber. I was flipping channels, and who was she interviewing, none other than LL Cool J (ladies love cool johns for the lame). The teaser was, " And when we come back I'm going to ask LL questions no one has ever asked him before."
I was hooked, like a unintelligent twit, so I hung out to hear what the royal chocolatey piece of goodness would say to her really unique and probing questions...
The camera fades out and foreshadows Tyra's depth,
"LL what is the smelliest, (dramatic pause) stinkiest part of your body?"
What? My brain twitched and I felt my IQ drop atleast 20 points. I almost went retarded as I sat there processing the dumbest women in the world with a talk show asking the hottest black man ever about the lack of personal hygeine.


DUMB, DUMBER DUMBEST!

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