Precious moments trade-offs

Everyone knows that in order to be a mom there needs to be trade offs. Have you ever noticed as a mom you're non- existent in almost every vacation, graduation, birthday, and precious moment photo. The only occassions people know you were there for are your wedding and births. Sometings just have to give, and here are my trade offs. I don't have any photos of myself. When I need them for other vain reasons, I can't find a decent one. I have to look high and low to find an appropriate photo, but if there were a lot of photos of me, that means Joe would have control of the camera, and that's a big no no.
Ya see I know that Nara has to threaten her co-workers in order to get her face-shots, and I just can't afford to lose precious work time like that. And if I gave the camera over to Joe, to capture precious moments I foresee in a frame, there would be 300 shots of the same shot from 40 feet away, and slightly askew heads or centered shots and blury steady shots from a shakey hand. I love the man, but only 1 out of evrey 60,000 shots actually turn out. Hence my trade-off. Less of me, and more photos of my kids and my husband reading to my kids.

I read to my kids, theres just no proof.
I pep talk my kids at soccer games, theres just no proof.
Am I bitter, heck no,! Now I can afford to let myself go, because I know that the ratio of good photos to bad ones are very low!

A losing season of Soccer

I now realize why parents become "soccer moms" and "violent dads". The average adult can't handle it when they wacth a bunch of five year olds kick at each others ankles for 1/2 and hour, so when they actually get 2 feet from the net and still miss kicking that stupid ball in the net, you just have to start yelling and hollering like you have no sense at all. All dignity goes staight out the window, when your kid actually does score a point, let alone 5!

It's when they actually do kick it into the net, and it's their own which doubles the opponents points, I become Muy Frustrado!
The last game Gabe played, they got up to the net 5 times but only kicked two in.The other team kicked 10 into their own net.

With our atrocious losing record the Black Tiger parents commenced bribing our children. Gabe was promised a scoop of ice cream for every goal or assist, Dylans's dad promised him 5 bucks, Isabelle's dad promised her ice cream as well, and the coach promised her whiney, crying-butt kid Samantha coddling every time she started crying on the field. The end results, Dylan recieved $15, Gabe recieved 5 scoops of ice cream, Isabelle got 3 scoops, and Samantha got to sit the rest of the game out because the ref. was wasting too much time blowing his whistle everytime she started crying!

Been playing long?

What should we do with it?

I don't know. It's just sitting there.

Kick it.

No, you kick it.

No, let's just stare at it.

Okay.

Adversity.

Hah, when you kick it in that net, your mom goes nuts! Watch I'll do it again!

Tub babies

Our babies love the tub, but do you know who loves it more?JOE. After a long morning of preparing for vacation Bible school (VBS), I came home to a weird Rrrring sound coming from the kitchen area. I thought our house was about to launch, then I realized we don't have jet engines anywhere near the house. Perhaps the air conditioner is about to explode? No, the air conditioner is on the other side of the house. Is Joe pressure washing the house. Nope, he's not in the back yard.
Wait.
Are those tub jets? I think they are. Let me go check on that.
SHO NUFF, Joe's kicking back with a cheesy, formulaic crime novel and the bubbles past his head. " Hey honey. How's your day? "
"Great Joe aren't you suppose to be outside washing the deck?"
"I'll get to it. I'm relaxing."
Joe loves his new tub!

Gabe's graduation

The horn poytails are veary symbolic of her behavior during graduation. Handsom lil man Gabe posing with Principal Winn, (apparently this isn't a point and shoot camera!)

Gabe receiving his graduation certificate! Priceless shot

Gabe had to say the "B" verse. He knows 80% of the alphabet verses. He's so smart. Ask him a letter verse and if he proudly knows it he'll say it, if he doesn't know he'll ask you for another letter.

His kindergarten buddies...all equally as nutty. This shot a miracle

Another miracle!

Gabe is officially out of Kindergarten. On to bigger and better grades. My camera has a 3 second delay, so the picture I intended to shoot was actually delayed. Ideally these should be better, because the picture I got, was not what I aimed for, such as life huh?

BUSTED!

I am so embarrassed!I thought I was being sneaky hiding out in my silver rental van and watching her from the tinted windows. She wouldn't return my phone calls for like 2 days... I was a bit peeved, but the alcohol really calmed my irrational emotions. Good thing I was parked, because by the time she got out of that store I was 2 sheets to the wind.
You're probably thinking, why are you stalking your sister? But the real question is, why not? WHo better ya know? I really didn't think she'd see me. When I'm at Target, I usually get stuck in that "Target vortex" and can't see anything but my tile, isle, and dollar signs. Oh well. The security gaurds were nice though, really understanding. The weirdest thing about the whole ordeal was she called me on her way home, so I stopped following her immediately and we had a wonderful conversation. The man costume must have really thrown her off my lead.

(folks, this is a total fabrication, but if you read her comment section I have you know I called the police on the gathering of suspected terrorists cuz mom was too scared so nice try jammajamma. Link)

We've got a brother?

Brothers don't shakle hands,...

Brothers gotta hug!

I've got a brother! Come on brother!

Attention all Readers

YEah it's my birthday coming up... I know, most of you were going to just wish me a belated happy birthday... but this year things are different, Urgent, I dare say.

So my favorite body spray and lotion is now leaving the planet, this discontinuation is terribly disturbing, so I need all of you to go out and buy me this for my birthday.

YOu can only get it at the GAP outlet! I know outlets, yuck, but for real folks, it's the only scent that actually goes with my body chemistry. Not only does it smell natural, but naturally delicious as well. Gabe always says, "Mom, I like that stink, WHat is it?"

When I can make a 6 year old's head turn, I've got something going for me

So hey, please go out and buy me this for my birthday, or consider it a donation to me which will continue giving for years to come ...

Dream (good, but not the best)

So Pink (my personal fav)

HEaven (not what I pictured Heaven to smell like, but it's nice)

And that's why you should not get pregnant

Folks, we need an immediate INTERVENTION. Pregnancy has caused Nara to go crazy. At first I thought it was just mindless, harmless blathering, and then it turned into spouting random phrases like" you're making me hot, just talking to you", but now this?
This is definitely a phychosis.
We will have to schedule some time on A & E's Intervention, which may not be suitable for young viewers, this will make for some good evening drama. There's nothing like pregnancy hormones to really set off some fits of rage.
Poor nara's gone straight crazy.Or is she crazy striaght?!

A very pretty lawn

Another set back to Joe being temporarily handicapped, I have to MOW the lawn.

This shouldn't be a problem, we've got good mowing genes, thanks to dad.

Alas, all was well, the lawn and I have never looked prettier!

I took charge of that crazy, over-grown grass and I beautified it to relflect the color, depth, texture, and and prettiness of Moi!

I wish you could enjoy the lawn as much as it has enjoyed me mowing it!


Even my 10 year old Gap under-alls (another pair of "good jeans") thanked me for wearing them while mowing...
Life is good in the big MO, grass and all...

Yavah's 2 year of bliss

AVA had her party, and it was huge hit. Many babies met their new mom, and mom received a new stroller, which trumped all of the other presents... (until the kitchen gets pulled out of the box). All outfits for Ava were provided by Grandma Jan and Target, hairstylist and make-up provided by momma LaShay.

She picked out the stroller herself at Shake Your Parents Pants Outs, the toy chain, but mom was too cheap to buy the $8 toy. Low and Behold Mr. Jamal & Ms. Lisa bought one with the matching baby! To the victor goes the spoil, she loved the stroller and all her babies get to be pushed around where ever she goes, no charge!

I'm such a sucker

Why do they make the inside of pants pretty?

I've had a lot of time to think lately due to our weekly state testing. One thought I had was why are my pants pretty on the outside, and prettier on the inside? It's not like they were made like a reversible jacket... It's not like I can turn it inside out when I want to change up my look.

Hey, I think this is one more way that Asians have planned to prove how dumb Americans are.

MY mind created a scenario that went a bit like this: Factory master genius decided to make the inside prettier to boost sales. His factory fired him due to his dumb idea, stating that sales will not boost, and precious materials and time will be lost due to a dumb idea, believing that AMericans won't buy pants that are prettier on the inside than on the outside. "It will never work. You're fired"

ALong comes synical factory owner who loves Crouching TIger Hidden Dragon movies and hires the factory master genius soley for his idea. They contrive a plan to make millions of pants, pretty on the outside, prettier on the inside, knowing silly AMericans will buy those pants, opposed to the pants that are uglier on the inside.

And so goes my intilectual insult. I bought them, hook line and sinker, pretty-on-the-outside-,- prettier- on-the-inside- pants.

I'm such a sucker! SIlly Asians, you're good, really good!