New Baby has a name!

I've been waiting for Ava to show her personailty by naming and titling things; such as her toys. Everyone and thing has been titled or names accordingly, no surprises, momma, daddy, Gabey (sometimes brother). Water and milk are called what they are, and all her toys and games don't have any special names. I thought she was a legalist until she named her new favorite baby. His name is Jesus. Perhaps it's the season, or maybe it's because this baby is her favorite. Whatever the reason, she calls him Jesus, and whenever he cries (by pushing the button on his stomach) she coddles him and says, " oh baby Jesus is crying," or "Oh baby Jesus is sad,".

Parents learn humility & gratefulnes!

Mom and Dad had a humbling experience through the prcious gifts we received from Gabe. We tried to take the kids out shopping for our gifts, but time ran out and grandpa Tom did it for us. BIG SHOUT-OUT OF THANKS TO Granpa. Anywho, I got my fav, coffee, and cherry filled chocolates (not my fav, but I knew it would be someones). I loved em.
Here's the killer, Joe got a change-sorter (very practical), Pokemon cards, & little box of gold fish (Gabe's all time favorite snack).
Joe and I exchanged the "parent smile", half smile, half laugh. We were saying to each other via "that look", " I wonder who he bought these gifts for?" Gabe saw us giving the look, and got real quiet. As Joe was posing for his picture with his presents, we saw tears streaming down his face. We were devestated. We actually caused our precious, little boy to think that we might be ungratful. We asked him what was wrong, and he said through tears and huffing, "I knew you'd think they were baby toys."
We hugged out little boy and explained that we were smiling and laughing because it was so thoughtful. We went on to say that we've never played Pokemon cards and we needed him to teach us how to play. He was excited to explain how to play and the tears slowly dried up. Joe was extra generous and shared his goldfish with the kids in the back seat as we got lost in the cities trying to find Uncle Tom's house.
Lesson learned! We loved our gifts!
Thank you Gabe & Grandpa Tom.

A Christmas Blast

We had the best Christmas as a family. Things were changed up a bit this year, and we had to do Christmas alone as a family. But we made extra sure we had an extra good time with the Chilluns. Joe and I set a budget and stuck to it pretty darn good. Each child got only a few gifts, more thoughtful than frivolous. Gabe's first present was wrapped 5 separate times and placed inside bigger and bigger boxes. After the first box, he declared, "oh you guys are tryin to trick me." TOTALLY BUSTED!
The photos says it all. Inside, were 4 video games. Major plus for the rents.

As for Ava she was the easiest. If it said, showed or alluded to a Princess she was in Aba heaven. PRINCESS! is all we heard as she tore through her gifts.

yesterday & today's level of threat update

Yesterday was a very threatening day. The LaShay level of threat was at an orangish red color. Satan was working hard via an alarm clock that didn't go off at ALL, Joe being stuck in Brittany's home state of Louisiana for 8 hours due to a stupid tornado in Mississippi, an ear & sinus infected-angry 2 year old, a clogged car value, a few bad listeners, and to end it all the start of a cold.
Way to go every one and thing, way to contribute to the ways of evil. With several quick shout-outs to Jesus, I endured.
The good news is this, with a half a dose of night time cold medicine, colors started changing rapidly. The threat seemed to disappear.

Today's threat level is a purple which stems from the daytime cold medicine being washed down with a hot and strong cup of coffee. My heart rate is about 180 and I'm just sitting here feeling really good. The level of threat is so low that it is near impossible to get purple to go green, not even AL Gore could change this one around!

LaShay's Levels of Threat!

I've decided to give you a color code to forewarn you of any LaShay threat. These are not necessarily an emotional threat, but rather a state of being. Also they can change at any given moment.

talent at its best

NEED I SAY MORE!

gift madness

He's 7 folks!

My My how time flies. My baby Gabey is now 7. We celebrated by eating at a Japanese steak house and letting a Micronesian teach us the fine art of frying hot food over a huge griddle (they use more butter). Then on the next day I had 5, 7 & 8 year olds run loose all over my house. No one died, and no limbs were lost. Although mom and ava got shot up by a storm of nerf monkies. We didn't go into the boy safe zones after that.
I told one boy that if Ava kept bothering them just shoot her all the way down the stairs. Every 15 minutes Ava came running down the stairs yelling "stop it" and sho nuff he had the gun at her back. It worked every time!

Lot's of highfives, F-bombs and One-upping

Jamiaca was beautiful but not quite tame by any means. Most of Joe's old Crime fighting team was present for the wedding so the wives, or lady friends got to endure 3.5 days of leaking testosterone. The natives began to get restless with us around, but that didn't stop the servers from offering us the best weed ever!
We had a great reunion though. Our Love banks are full!

The Serge

Team Ramrod (self titled)

Prewedding drunken chatterboxes

Sober "I do'ers"

Jamaica story #3

You may be thinking, Dang LaShay, wasn't there a better photo from the waist down... Precisely! I use this photo with great intentions of supplying a visual aid for this next story from the Island mon!
Joe and I were really focused on doing things we normally wouldn't get to do if we had the kids, so we decided to go get a massage on the beach. It was the best massage I'd ever had, and Joe's first massage, mind you.
Strong,little hands are the key and apparently Jamaican's have both, bonus for me. As Joe and I got dressed and were leaving, we went to tip the masseuses and the one who massaged me said, "you are very sexy." Of course having worked in Atlanta, I'm use to off the wall and random commpliments at the worse times ever, but this one took the cake. "Thank you."
"well that's why I married her." said JOe
"She's part gay,"piped in the other masseuse.
"Okay, Well the black men do love me."
ANd we ended on a cheery highfive and a smile.
Was I just molested or massaged?

Jamaicame Crazy 4 REAL

Non compliant & naughty

Ava is so naughty. As I was down uploading this video, I heard a faint shwish, shwish shwish. I sat quieter. She couldn't be up? It's 9 p.m., she should already be asleep. Shwish shwish shwish. Hey, someone is up and walking the halls (faint humming resounds, door knobs are twisting). I snuck around the corner, and sure enough she is tampering with the bathroom door,a nd SINGING. I sit and stare like a raptor awaiting its prey. She spots me, and freezes, like any good deer would. I move in for the kill. "Ava what are you doing up?" Silence, manaquin-like stillness. "You are so naughty Ava. Why are you out of your bed?" Stillness, silnece. "Get back to bed." And so I escorted her to bed, with 3 quick fwaps on the behind. Slight crying, and then silence. The whole time I was thinking, why tamper with the bathroom door, when you refuse to use it. You pee your pants and sit on my carpet, but you won't sit on a toilet seat and wet it! Motherly frustrations!

New hair cut

Joe says her new hair cut makes her look chubby. I say it's her belly!

I AM Captain Assassin

For all those who want a valiant career change here's an option... Pro Wrestling!
My name is Captain Assassin, I'm working on the outfit as I type.
Joe's is Super Bear, and if you call him JOseph then it becomes Macho Alchemist, which so fitting. Ava is Chief Rock and Gabe is The Grand Butcher or if you prefer Gabriel it becomes Samurai Tiger, which is as fitting as his fathers!
Check it out.
http://www.wrestlingname.com/

The teacher Prom!

Teacher lips 1

Teacher lips 2
Teacher prom was this week. I was so excited I wore makeup and got all pretty. Really ,my makeup was goopy due to the 10 years it's been siting in my drawer, but other than that I was pure prettiness sitting at a lap top, tip typing away. Generally there is dancing at a prom, not so for teachers, except for the Science teacher trying to look jiggy wit it and trying to do the "supre man". he failed the being jiggy test. Other than that excitement, out of the 16 hours I sat at school enjoying Teacher prom, I spent 60 minutes of it with actual parents and students. VERY SUCCESSFUL. Enjoy the pictures of teacher prom...

Pictures coming soon!

just like brother

Tooth Inc. unfortunate cut backs

Dear Gabe;
I heard you lost a tooth. Congratulations! When I came by the first time it was not there. I received a voice mail from my boss and he stated that you forgot to put it under the pillow. I would like to inform you that Tooth Inc. has undergone some major cut backs, and rezoning and I am now responsible for managing and collecting for the tri-state area. I am no longer able to accommodate schedule changes due to forgetfulness. The double and triple visits are now being charged to the customer.
We are also now glad to say that Tooth Inc is going “green”. As a company we are holding all tooth collectors accountable for mileage and gas consumption due to our environmentally friendly policies.
Do we still need teeth to sell to make a profit? Yes. Are tooth sales capable of going “green”? Double yes. With new company policies we are forced to make practical decisions about profit versus customer convenience. I’m sorry if this letter seems harsh, but it is all stated to explain why less money was left this time around. Due to the size of this lost tooth in comparison to the amount of gas consumed to receive it, only 2 coins were left. I appreciate your patience in receiving your money and I hope with future tooth loss we can work as a team to make sure we stay true to our new “green” policies and you make a profit on losing your teeth. You are one my best tri state great tooth losers, and I look forward to working with you soon.
Sincerely,
Madame tooth fairy
Regional manager and Collector

True fear, the fear of the Chuck

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.

If you can lead a horse to water, Chuck NORRIS can make him drink.

Chuck NORRIS was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Chuck NORRIS.

Chuck NORRIS favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second
favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck NORRIS

Chuck NORRIS played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.

The Office, Joe Style

Here's a quick re-enactment for your viewing pleasure!




Joe has a bit of a problem. He passes out when ever pain sneaks up on him, especially at the office. If only I could have been there once again to kick him and tell him to get up and quit faking... in all reality he really does pass out.

Momma and Ava time

Saturday afternoon, no lights

The MINDS


The Muscle

The FOCUS

The team work

The opportunity

The break away

The defeat. First game, we lost

She's eatin my avacados

Tootin ABA

"Momma poop"
"let me see ABA"

"I skink"

See momma, skink