Dear Gabe;
I heard you lost a tooth. Congratulations! When I came by the first time it was not there. I received a voice mail from my boss and he stated that you forgot to put it under the pillow. I would like to inform you that Tooth Inc. has undergone some major cut backs, and rezoning and I am now responsible for managing and collecting for the tri-state area. I am no longer able to accommodate schedule changes due to forgetfulness. The double and triple visits are now being charged to the customer.
We are also now glad to say that Tooth Inc is going “green”. As a company we are holding all tooth collectors accountable for mileage and gas consumption due to our environmentally friendly policies.
Do we still need teeth to sell to make a profit? Yes. Are tooth sales capable of going “green”? Double yes. With new company policies we are forced to make practical decisions about profit versus customer convenience. I’m sorry if this letter seems harsh, but it is all stated to explain why less money was left this time around. Due to the size of this lost tooth in comparison to the amount of gas consumed to receive it, only 2 coins were left. I appreciate your patience in receiving your money and I hope with future tooth loss we can work as a team to make sure we stay true to our new “green” policies and you make a profit on losing your teeth. You are one my best tri state great tooth losers, and I look forward to working with you soon.
Sincerely,
Madame tooth fairy
Regional manager and Collector
3 comments:
great blog.
The tooth fairy needs to know that tooth loans can be had by contacting the grand parents of said toothless children.The loans are interest free and can be turned into complete grants after not paying them back after ten years. Then the toothless child can get full coinage under the pillow despite green policies and cutbacks.
very clever. Enjoyed the tale. i remember so many times forgetting to put money under the pillow. Life really interferes sometimes, huh?
The tooth fairy needs to know she is insured by the organization of SOSPSC when confronted by cut backs. Oh, what is SOSPSC? The Sister Okay Sending Po' Sister Cash.
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