disproportioned baby

Ava's hitting her shoe phase. Not only are her thighs in dramatic disproportion to her body, but now her feet look all awkward now that she likes to wear everyone else's shoes but her own. Gabe's shoes are now her target.

mail oxymoron

Speaking of quagmire.
I receive junk mail and as a rule abiding citizen I have no clue how to get rid of it now. Those junk mailers are out smarting us by the day.
Stay one step ahead folks... they're only gonna get trickier.
If anyone wants to buy a box-load of opened junk mail that you can't throw away holla at a gangta I'll over night it!

A true sick trooper

9:30am woke up with snot glued to my forehead and a slew of poo in my doo. (we're learning ryhming words at school, APPLIED!)
9:32 Mom discovered poo, funny!
9"35 hungry as all get out, wandered around with mom upstairs until she got her head together
9:40 Empty tray,gave hints that mom was too slow with up and coming waffles, failed attempt
9:40.5 started crying, mom thought it was cute, snapped a photo, then gave me cinni waffles
9:41 Can't taste a darn thing, where's Percy?
9:42 Got thirsty, fridge too tall. DANG. Whined at fridge to someone got me liquid refreshment, the Spaniards call this agua.
9:45 Really needed some lovin, sat on mom's lap for 2 mintues, that was enough to refill my love bank.
9:47 decided to color all over Gabe's reader. What is that strange noise?
9:47.5 oh I'm jibber jabberin..wierd... it just keeps going...blah blah blah blah, I wonder if any one else can hear it too?
9:48 look 2 crayons Raw talent.
9:50 sneezed my brains practically right out of my eye sockets. Mom gave me a tissue and told me to wipe my nose. I licked the tissue instead just to see what she'd do. She just laughed and took another photo. What is that woman good for?
9:52 Watched the Food Network for a few, yumm beef bourgoin, I made that this morning all ready... boredom hits
9:55 STill bored of all this crap and decided to wander around the kitchen
10am Mom tells me all these photos were to show up cuz GG, we're off to blog. I downloaded the photos myself.

Church #3

We were really excited about chuch #3. The drive was nice, 5 minutes from home base, the oarking lot was alright, a bit icey for my taste, and the entrance was inviting. Like acozy coffee house (first warning). The greeter walked up cheerfully with jeans on and a cuddly turtleneck on (smile +, coffee 2nd warning). Dropping off the kids to the kids ministry was fine, no big tells there... Entering service, the greeter whispers just sit anywhere don't worry about it being dark. My thoughts were, well great I'll just sit on this fat ladies lap then because the only light in the place is on the actor on stage monologuing.
We walked in on the middle of the "Drama" as an aspiring actoress I'm thinking, I could do that...but do I want to. The play was about believeing in your self, ...follow up song was CHeryl Crows "I will Believe"... enter minister, pastor, no title man Roy (there are no titles at this church, they want to seem unchurched), so this guys couldn't be called pastor, just Roy in tight faded jeans & flannel, his Bible if that what it was, lookes like a book of poems he tinkeres with every now & again.
In the back were tables with candles in the middle and2-3 chairs surrounding each, and I could hear the slurpping of coffee, the liquid stew could be smelled everywhere because everyone had their travel mug, sipping as they listened to ROY; like a bunch of addicts clinging to their vices they can't put it down for 1 or 2 hours (joe and my ultimate pet peeve about the mid west). I saw one lady whip out her Bible, but I'm not sure why cuz Roy only paraphrased through the whole sermon (speech for the unchurhced)what his intended chapter and verse was all about.
LISTEN READER: if you're going to shadow a church door, let's bring it on the whole bit, give me the worship (not present at church #3, the praying (which there was none except at the end but you wouldn't have known it cuz the lights were out again), I'd like to see the people in the church and not to heckle them, but to know who the heck you are when we leave the place.
Everything is so secretive or set around everyone's comfort zones. Jesus made people uncomfy, duh, that's why they killed HIM. He hung in public for a nonexistant sin, DUH. So why can't these white folks up here swallow a bit of there pride and turn the lights on, put down the coffee, clap their hands (on beat is not an expectation), raise em high if you know why your worshiping and all the other stuff will grow on ya later.
Suck it up people, Jesus makes you want to do things you never wanted to do before: sing, dance, love ugly people, like dumb people. .. I'll stop here before I get in trouble.
Joe's in the bathroom dropping the kids off at the pool while singing Young Jeezy's song "I'm a go getta".
That should take the spot light off of me for a bit!

Goodbye ATL hello KCMO

Not another one Michals!

Sea of white folks

Today was a tiring day. Not only did I not work, but I also attended my first ever professional development day. Instead of being professionally developed, I developed a professional complex. Not only am I no longer "whitey" in a sea of non whities, a tab bit odd really, but I am totally out of my element Donny!
Apparently I laugh too loud for these folks up here, they don't like my music, there is no slang in the work place, and I had to explain what "the 4-1-1" means not only to my foreign kids, but also to my fellow staff members! Ugh ( it mean what's the information ya'll)
I digress: At my Prof Development...
no one looked at me, no random acts of dancing occurred, no raising of the roof of any kind, nor
"girl how you been doin" shout-outs across the room were not present anywhere.
Everyone walked quietly along there merry ways and when they talked in groups I totally couldn't hear their conversations.
If people don't like me they sure are good at faking it, not cool! I'd rather know.
The great White transition has really affected me. Every day I get into my truck and rock out with RICHBOY "Just bought a Cadillac, Put's some D's on it" or may be a bit of Young Jeezy " And I love it" Some times to remind me of my hood I bounce with a little T.I. (he's my babies father) "I got my top laid back and my beat real low." too top it all off, "My babies father ," is not understood here either.

I just blended in here, I'm too fat to be hot, I'm too old to be hip, I'm now just another one of those folks that blends into the crowd with all the other tall short, thin, fat people who teach here.

So far my kids love me, the good news is none of them look like me, home sweet home. I teach ELL and most of my kids are from Micronesia (get a map and look all the way down to the right, past Australia), Russia, the Hispanics are representing, so are the Somalis with their headdresses. I have a few Iranians to stir into my multi-ethnic mix.
Love em as much as I do, it is a challenge to teach here in MO, but not because of the kids. The teachers have an heir of self importance and arrogance, they don't want to teach my kids because their foreign. I'm still a bit confused by this...
Any who...
Our church search is not going as well as I had hoped for. Church #1 had a laser light show during worship, if ever there was a moment where the Spirit was chased out of me, it happened when the laser flashed across my face in mid song.
Church #2 was going real strong until the Pastor started singing a Temptations song within his sermon, and at the end they had a spontaneous group jog around the church, most were in high heels and I couldn't keep up with them!
Church #3 is yet to be attended, you'll know when we have settled into a church...

I'm not complaining, life is really simple 15 minutes to work, Ava's school 1 mile from home, Gabe loves his school. Joe tore his Achilles Tendon, surgery on Thursday, recovery until July.
God is real good, life has just begun for us here and we're ready for the challenge.

i just got dumber

Tyra just made me dumber. I was flipping channels, and who was she interviewing, none other than LL Cool J (ladies love cool johns for the lame). The teaser was, " And when we come back I'm going to ask LL questions no one has ever asked him before."
I was hooked, like a unintelligent twit, so I hung out to hear what the royal chocolatey piece of goodness would say to her really unique and probing questions...
The camera fades out and foreshadows Tyra's depth,
"LL what is the smelliest, (dramatic pause) stinkiest part of your body?"
What? My brain twitched and I felt my IQ drop atleast 20 points. I almost went retarded as I sat there processing the dumbest women in the world with a talk show asking the hottest black man ever about the lack of personal hygeine.


DUMB, DUMBER DUMBEST!

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