Ode to My little Guy

Even though you'd probably be bugging me right about now, even though you wake up in a puddle of your own urine and then want to cuddle me, even though you take all of your sister's toys away and make her whine to me, even though you talk way too much about crazy things, even though you think your Yoda one minute and Luke the next and get mad at me for calling you the wrong Jedi name, Even though you waste half the food I make for you, and then complain that your hungry, even though you sing the wrong words to songs just like your dad and then make me sing the song your way, even though you argue like an old man, except you really don't know a whole lot... I really miss you

Orange Beach Bama

Hey peeps,
Here is theevidence that we did in fact go on a vacation.
We were relaxed. We had a blast. A typical beach vacation. tons of sun, go carts, southerners, and shrimp.
I recommend this vacation spot, unless there is a hurrican/tropical storm. Our place was in between 2 bodies of water, the penninsula, and the gulf.
Vaca Happenings: Shark sitings, yikes! Early rises to the sun, hard beds, Go cart pile ups caused by Joe, Gabe driving a mni go cart and dominatong the track, NASCAR here we come. And the finale, Lasha getting sunburned, What? No!

Now the summer begins.
We shipped Gabe off to the Grand rents in MN. Wow, ma and pa Stewart are sturggling. OUr days are realtively quiet now. I hang out at Ava's daycare just to hear little minds rammble on for hours.
Ma Stewart is teaching summer school for five weeks, but only teaching 1 week out of those five. I will actually be mentoring 4 other adults in the room. Woh, someone get off the stress bar, I just can't take it! I will be working on the house and my tan in the mean time.
Pa stewart is still arresting bad boys and getting so much training he actually is working himself out of a job, his title Mr. Over-qualified! Teh feds better take him with all this training swimming around in his head. With his new surveilance class he has now learned to sodder mini mics and mini cameras. I will always feel watched!
enough enough of the updates,I'm starting to write my book, no better time than now right?
Also the Stewart Christmas card will be gracing your mail boxes shortly! No better time than now!

She's laughing at you all

Schools out for the SUMMER

Alice and I have a lot in common! Both of us think we are collegiate rock stars, and only one of us really is, we'll let the masses decide as to which should be though...
Although we're both happy that shcools out for the summer!

Wow this year has been long and arduous.
Here's my list of why the year was so long:
1Child got hit by bus and died at school
a. 1 co worker died, not on campus
b 3 parents died of either drugs, drug related or HIV deaths
2 Too mant kids came into 6th grade not having passed 5th grade.
3. No support from administration (had to get beyond creative)
4. Kids who would otherwise be labled as Mentally Handicapped were stuck in our classrooms and told were normal, they are not!
5. Made us work 40 extra hours before school year began and still have yet to see the money for it.
6. 100% Confidence with 100% incompetence, the new moto for our school

ALl this aside I could go on and get more peronal and add more proof as to why our public schools are failing, but I don't want to get fired, than call on the media to air my grievances to get a job again.


Let's focus on the beach.
Orange Beach Alabama here we come. White beaches, blue water and a really white man from the neck down is all I am going to see for the next week ... We haven't had a vacation in a long while and this is the only thing on our minds.

mom's day maddness

Day cares are the greatest, they even make Mom's day cards for me!That takes all the pressure off of buying my own present! Gabe made me a flower, twisted green tissue paper stables to a piece of construction paper never lookded so original. Plus it will never die, the best flower in the world!

Appeasing the Masses

So appease the readers (fans if you will) I will update, but just to tease...
So the house. Not buying it...
AVa not walking, thighs to big, vicious cirlce
Adri, still ticking,
Dad still limping, but blood thinner
Joe's liver still bad, attitude badder, job baddest (lots of home raids, legal of course)
Dog on the front page, not mine, story non eventful, Dallas is certified nuts, and sick and if you want it call my neighbor!
As for me, I get saner as I get older...
Percy leaving patches of black hair all over the house, shedding is alot like chemo, except the cancerous dog never goes away, even though her 4 foot holes dug all over the yard allows her to blissfully run away, but she always comes back.
pics are coming soon.
Fans be patient
For the love of all that is pure and holy,
PLEASE COMMENT ON MOM'S BLOG,
her guilt trips are seeping onto all of our comment pages, put on your guilt trip blockers, I'm sure there will be more to come.

dallas, don't ask!

From the Mouth of baby Yava..

Poor baby Many Teeth!
She had a rough goin for her 1st birthday.

From the mouth of Baby Yava
First off my 4 first-year-molars are coming in all at once. My cheeks are sore and my nose is runny, so I look a straight mess. People call me cute and beautiful, so I just smile to get them to stop talking, but then they want to hold a twenty minute convo about my teef!
That guy I call Dada, who flexes in the mirror and asks me ridiculous questions (do you know how much dad loves you? Do you know how beautiful you are? ) takes me to the doctor to get poked and prodded with metal objects by some short-quiet-talking-Habib guy. Nice guy and all, but can't understand a word he says!
Then I got shots on my birthday, one in each chunky thigh. Just cause their big doesn't mean it doesn't hurt folks.
Just horriffic! Always pickin on the fat kids...
On top of it all my ear infection from 2 weeks ago did not go away. So the woman who cares for me, I call her Dada, thought I was all hot and upset because of the four trucks moving through my gums, but little does she know my ear has been aching!

I was so put out by the whole day, when I got home at 5pm with my lady Dada, I went to bed and didn't wake up til the next morning.

I tell you what, if this is how all birthdays are, I don't want another. My little brother Talk Alot opened all my presents and played with them too, for all I care he can have them.

If ya need me I'll be in and out of sleep.

Love ,

Many Teeth

Free Falling

thighs to big to move,... feet too fat to lift... must stand upright for a while...(pant pant)must, now, fall... ahhh too much work!
I need a rest.
Where's my food!

Remedy for dirt eaters everywhere

This was solution #1. Wrap plastic wrap around opening of plant and enclose plastic with two rounds of tape.

How could this plan be flawed?

(Fade in theme Jeopardy music now)
Ava--"Alex, I'll take 'Out witting a stupidly flawed plan for 100 please."
Alex-- "Tear plastic wrap with one finger and stir dirt around at
liesure."
"Ava-- "'What is the easiest way to make a mom feel dumb about plan #1, which was contrived on behalf of her 11 month old who keeps eating the plant dirt?"
Alex--"Correct, you have the board."
Ava-- "Well, according to the board there is one more Daily Double, and I have enough to risk it all. Let's go for the category 'what it takes', for 600."
Alex-- " Yes the Daily Double Ava, What would you like to wager?
Ava-- "Let's put it all down Alex, I'm feeling really, really , really good about this one."
Alex-- " And the answer is ' set it up on a 2 foot high chair'. Ava take your time, you have all your money riding on your response."
Ava-- "what is what it took to place the delicious plant dirt out of reach from a hungry 11 month old."
Ding ding ding, crowd roars, people clap, audience rushes the stage! (Jeopardy music fades out)

It took her exactly 2 seconds to be fascinated with the shiny paper and poke a whole in it just big enough to swipe her lil fingers back and forth in the dirt like a sweet Fun Dip candy treat.
Yummm Fun Dips!
Ya know my dad would buy me a pack of Fun Dips while I watched my two older sisers ice skate. It was such a treat for me! Candy. All my own, then I had to hear about how bad the candy was for my teeth for the next hour. Some how the candy didn't taste so good knowing that I had to go home and brush my teeth.

Next time Ava wags her little fingers in the dirt and eats it with sheer blissfulness, I'm not going to brush her teeth or rinse her mouth out!
This is for all the parents who ruined a kids fun on the account of dental Hygien!
(Is this Cynthia McKinney logic or what?)

Ava's wrath is unbeatable!
Do you Feel it?
Can you feel this Anger pulsating through your computer screen?

Don't ever cover my plant dirt again,mom! Never

And the kids play...

Gabe shakes his hips; Ava laughs. It's all fun until the playing gets pushed to a whole new level.

Nasty words are exchanged and next thing ya know...

IT'S GO TIME!

AVA is VICTORIOUS

Official name change for Mr. Yellow belt

Gabe has now changed his name. It is Mr. Yellow Belt, it's Korean for boy who kicks many butt!

He's really working hard. The advances in colors really motivate him. He took on 3 boys at once and really made this momma proud.

Please change all references of Gabe to Mr. Yellow Belt until further notice!

Persepctive

What I see!















What Ava Sees...

Joe's big day in the bathroom

I've been knowing this man for 7 years , wow!, and he never ceases to amaze me. Video games, check, lawn mowing, check, too fast channel surfing, double check, fixing a light fixture, I'm not sure?
We've had a light torn out of our bathroom for um...about two years now, just an empty black hole in our original light fixture. The bathroom was a little dimmer, showers were a bit tougher, and days were longer because of this one broken light fixture. we cursed the builders and envied electricians. We were lost home owners trying to find a solution to our problem.

Low and behold Dennis, the father in law, comes to visit and gives us the 4 steps to fixing up our house to sell. I named atleast 10 items that needed to be fixed around our house because it bothered us, but more importantly it could bother a new home buyer. Boy, o boy did I get an ear full from Dennis. Did you know that you can fix things in your home by simply going to Home Depot? Needless to say, the purchasing of equipment to fix items around the house was not our issue at hand.
Fixing them was!

Dennis, the father-in-law, and I hemmed and hawed about how to fix things, He walked me through technical jargon, gidgets and gadgets, and I broke down.
" I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOUR SAYING!"
"well have boy wonder do it than!" he retorted.
Okay I admit it, this thought in my head almost made me irate. If I wanted Ava changed to a Spice Girls song, Joe can do it, If I wanted a whole baseball series played all in one sitting on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, Joe can do it, If I want the lawn mowed with exactness, Joe can do it, but fix a light fixture? Joe? I'm not so sure...
Hours past, the sun rose, Home Depots closed and there I was pondering the inevitable, could my husband fix a light fixture in our bathroom that has been broken for 2 years?
The answer,
yes.
He did it in 15 minutes!
It turns out that the man did this all summer one year as a summer job!
15 minutes folks, 15 minutes.
Instead of being angry at the fact that $35 and 15 minutes later, my bathroom was sparkling with radiant light aimed in all the right places, instead of the 2 years of dim, dark bathing, I praised and lauded the man who CAN, in fact, fix a light fixture!
He is so manly!
I flick and I wap, the light goes on and off. On and off goes the light, and my husband flexes and puffs up his chest and does a light fixure fixed in 15 minutes dance.
There are many good days ahead folks.
Good days are a coming!

Weekend with grandpa Dennis

Dirt's new best friend

babay Avi likes to eat dirt. How do I know? because as I was typing a letter I heard a cough and a sputter. I turned around to see her shoveling her third handful of dirt up to her mouth. She knew she didn't like the tatse. She knew the grittiness of the dirt granuales were not pleasant but yet she couldn't stop the shoveling! Naturally I had to take some photos to prove that my motheryly instincts have kicked in and I can take care of a small vacuum-like-child.

Carpets are kept clean, plants are all maintained ( and now 2 feet off the ground), and the dog is always on the look out for a roving baby. Here comes Avi Baby!

The McDonaldization of Mrs.Homemaker

I received a new sewing machine a month ago and haven't been the same since. I have a plethora of pillows, my pants are all hemmed, and now my windows are all treated. The sad part is that for all the time I spent sewing my new bedroom window valancces, Joe said he didn't like them. Well I was thinking that I would use them anyway, afterall 1)I did make them, 2) I used up all my material, 3)I also used our table skirts to sew them, so I really had nothing left to put on the windows (I didn't necessarily like them either, it was all too orange for me). Last week, as we showed our house to another perspective buyer, when we got to the bedroom tour, I was embarrassed, the treatments were so ugly. There's one jab against sewing your own stuff (I even sketched the valances out, but they still came out ugly, I guess I didn't plan for the orange overload).
This weekend as I shopped Lowe's for some bathroom accesseries, what did I find, the perfect window treatments! And for only $36, and 5 minutes to put them up on the actual windows of choice, I can make my windows complete! That was the 2nd jab againts sewing! As Shammai would say "what the heck" I feel cheated! Yes my windows are beautiful, and they tie the room together so well, yes they make the master bedroom a tour show quality! Yes the colors all coordinate without making it too overwhelming, Yes I want to take pictures and show off the finished look to all my peeps! But it took $40 of sewing material and one full Saturday to figure out that Lowe's can meet all my window treatment needs. HUMPH!
So much for being domestic... I think I'll go back to making jewlery, oh wait Macy's is having their clearance sale and can out price my jewlery with less overhead! Forget it, I'm just going back to drinking coffee... To bad exercise isn't the slightest of temptation for a new hobbie, I think I would get great reseults.

Psyche Suckers!

For all you who responded to my blog back in December, SUCKERS! Nobody got a Christmas card this year, but yet most of you fell for my silly little manipulative scheme. For those of you who didn't get suckered into my manipulative tactics, bravo, your strong will is quite impressive.
Anywho, this new year has brought the glory of the Lord into our home.. details still pending.
to state a few that are complete....
Joe down graded his car, after I fasted beer an cheese for a year, he finally allowed GOD to change his heart! Hello Acura (poor Joe).
We are on our way to financial freedom. Cutting back on our first class Starbuck coffee and only allowing room for ChockFullofNuts coffee really does cut a pretty penny from the budget, yummy, (nutty cupoJoe).

Ava is a scooter, as Gabe calls her. She finds herself in a precarious split position when her socks slip on the carpet from her standing position. She is a social butterfly, where ever we are, she is sure to follow...
Gabe rejoined Tae Kwon Do and loves it. He digs the fighting. I wish I could tell you about all the belly aches I get from laughing so hard at the kid, but I'm trying not to give him a complex.
Okay, Okay I'll pulla Kathy Lee Gifford, only two stories...
Story #1
On his first sparring match against an 8 year old, he was getting pumbled (there is no contact, but if there was, he would have been tenderized meat), the yellow belt was giving him amazing kicks and transferred his energy to smooth jabs... Gabe was really put out so he pulled out the ol street moves dad taught him... he started hopping in a circle with his forearms over his face. Master Sung told him " good job Gabe!", but Gabe thought he was going to get chastised for the street move defense, so he started shouting from behind his arms "My dad told me that if someone was trying to hit me to cover my face!"
Gabe continued hopping in his fighting circle, until Master Song had to beg him to put his arms down and fight back rather than running himself into more kicks and punches. He never did let down his arms, dad taught him not too.
Story #2
When Mrs. Master Song teaches the class she has the class full of boys run off their energy by doing racing drills. They have to race in some fashion while performing a drill. Gabe being the die-hard competitor decides to focus on his speed, rather than the drill. He's up against a spritey little 4 year old, so Gabe has to win for his ego's sake, can't letta 4 year old beat him. So Master Song tells the boys to focus on the drills and Gabe, always doing what he is told, focuses hard on his skill and loses the race.
As the other kids is declared the winner Gabe shouts "I'm a loser, Oh man, I'm a loser. Loser, loser, loser" With his hands over his face he slides to the floor and bellows one more time, "I'm a big fat loser!"
Needless to say I was laughing so hard I believe he took my laughing as encouragement, because he finished his next few races still focused on his skills.

Till next time!

Wow, look at my sweet chillun