Free Falling

thighs to big to move,... feet too fat to lift... must stand upright for a while...(pant pant)must, now, fall... ahhh too much work!
I need a rest.
Where's my food!

Remedy for dirt eaters everywhere

This was solution #1. Wrap plastic wrap around opening of plant and enclose plastic with two rounds of tape.

How could this plan be flawed?

(Fade in theme Jeopardy music now)
Ava--"Alex, I'll take 'Out witting a stupidly flawed plan for 100 please."
Alex-- "Tear plastic wrap with one finger and stir dirt around at
liesure."
"Ava-- "'What is the easiest way to make a mom feel dumb about plan #1, which was contrived on behalf of her 11 month old who keeps eating the plant dirt?"
Alex--"Correct, you have the board."
Ava-- "Well, according to the board there is one more Daily Double, and I have enough to risk it all. Let's go for the category 'what it takes', for 600."
Alex-- " Yes the Daily Double Ava, What would you like to wager?
Ava-- "Let's put it all down Alex, I'm feeling really, really , really good about this one."
Alex-- " And the answer is ' set it up on a 2 foot high chair'. Ava take your time, you have all your money riding on your response."
Ava-- "what is what it took to place the delicious plant dirt out of reach from a hungry 11 month old."
Ding ding ding, crowd roars, people clap, audience rushes the stage! (Jeopardy music fades out)

It took her exactly 2 seconds to be fascinated with the shiny paper and poke a whole in it just big enough to swipe her lil fingers back and forth in the dirt like a sweet Fun Dip candy treat.
Yummm Fun Dips!
Ya know my dad would buy me a pack of Fun Dips while I watched my two older sisers ice skate. It was such a treat for me! Candy. All my own, then I had to hear about how bad the candy was for my teeth for the next hour. Some how the candy didn't taste so good knowing that I had to go home and brush my teeth.

Next time Ava wags her little fingers in the dirt and eats it with sheer blissfulness, I'm not going to brush her teeth or rinse her mouth out!
This is for all the parents who ruined a kids fun on the account of dental Hygien!
(Is this Cynthia McKinney logic or what?)

Ava's wrath is unbeatable!
Do you Feel it?
Can you feel this Anger pulsating through your computer screen?

Don't ever cover my plant dirt again,mom! Never

And the kids play...

Gabe shakes his hips; Ava laughs. It's all fun until the playing gets pushed to a whole new level.

Nasty words are exchanged and next thing ya know...

IT'S GO TIME!

AVA is VICTORIOUS

Official name change for Mr. Yellow belt

Gabe has now changed his name. It is Mr. Yellow Belt, it's Korean for boy who kicks many butt!

He's really working hard. The advances in colors really motivate him. He took on 3 boys at once and really made this momma proud.

Please change all references of Gabe to Mr. Yellow Belt until further notice!

Persepctive

What I see!















What Ava Sees...

Joe's big day in the bathroom

I've been knowing this man for 7 years , wow!, and he never ceases to amaze me. Video games, check, lawn mowing, check, too fast channel surfing, double check, fixing a light fixture, I'm not sure?
We've had a light torn out of our bathroom for um...about two years now, just an empty black hole in our original light fixture. The bathroom was a little dimmer, showers were a bit tougher, and days were longer because of this one broken light fixture. we cursed the builders and envied electricians. We were lost home owners trying to find a solution to our problem.

Low and behold Dennis, the father in law, comes to visit and gives us the 4 steps to fixing up our house to sell. I named atleast 10 items that needed to be fixed around our house because it bothered us, but more importantly it could bother a new home buyer. Boy, o boy did I get an ear full from Dennis. Did you know that you can fix things in your home by simply going to Home Depot? Needless to say, the purchasing of equipment to fix items around the house was not our issue at hand.
Fixing them was!

Dennis, the father-in-law, and I hemmed and hawed about how to fix things, He walked me through technical jargon, gidgets and gadgets, and I broke down.
" I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOUR SAYING!"
"well have boy wonder do it than!" he retorted.
Okay I admit it, this thought in my head almost made me irate. If I wanted Ava changed to a Spice Girls song, Joe can do it, If I wanted a whole baseball series played all in one sitting on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, Joe can do it, If I want the lawn mowed with exactness, Joe can do it, but fix a light fixture? Joe? I'm not so sure...
Hours past, the sun rose, Home Depots closed and there I was pondering the inevitable, could my husband fix a light fixture in our bathroom that has been broken for 2 years?
The answer,
yes.
He did it in 15 minutes!
It turns out that the man did this all summer one year as a summer job!
15 minutes folks, 15 minutes.
Instead of being angry at the fact that $35 and 15 minutes later, my bathroom was sparkling with radiant light aimed in all the right places, instead of the 2 years of dim, dark bathing, I praised and lauded the man who CAN, in fact, fix a light fixture!
He is so manly!
I flick and I wap, the light goes on and off. On and off goes the light, and my husband flexes and puffs up his chest and does a light fixure fixed in 15 minutes dance.
There are many good days ahead folks.
Good days are a coming!

Weekend with grandpa Dennis

Dirt's new best friend

babay Avi likes to eat dirt. How do I know? because as I was typing a letter I heard a cough and a sputter. I turned around to see her shoveling her third handful of dirt up to her mouth. She knew she didn't like the tatse. She knew the grittiness of the dirt granuales were not pleasant but yet she couldn't stop the shoveling! Naturally I had to take some photos to prove that my motheryly instincts have kicked in and I can take care of a small vacuum-like-child.

Carpets are kept clean, plants are all maintained ( and now 2 feet off the ground), and the dog is always on the look out for a roving baby. Here comes Avi Baby!

The McDonaldization of Mrs.Homemaker

I received a new sewing machine a month ago and haven't been the same since. I have a plethora of pillows, my pants are all hemmed, and now my windows are all treated. The sad part is that for all the time I spent sewing my new bedroom window valancces, Joe said he didn't like them. Well I was thinking that I would use them anyway, afterall 1)I did make them, 2) I used up all my material, 3)I also used our table skirts to sew them, so I really had nothing left to put on the windows (I didn't necessarily like them either, it was all too orange for me). Last week, as we showed our house to another perspective buyer, when we got to the bedroom tour, I was embarrassed, the treatments were so ugly. There's one jab against sewing your own stuff (I even sketched the valances out, but they still came out ugly, I guess I didn't plan for the orange overload).
This weekend as I shopped Lowe's for some bathroom accesseries, what did I find, the perfect window treatments! And for only $36, and 5 minutes to put them up on the actual windows of choice, I can make my windows complete! That was the 2nd jab againts sewing! As Shammai would say "what the heck" I feel cheated! Yes my windows are beautiful, and they tie the room together so well, yes they make the master bedroom a tour show quality! Yes the colors all coordinate without making it too overwhelming, Yes I want to take pictures and show off the finished look to all my peeps! But it took $40 of sewing material and one full Saturday to figure out that Lowe's can meet all my window treatment needs. HUMPH!
So much for being domestic... I think I'll go back to making jewlery, oh wait Macy's is having their clearance sale and can out price my jewlery with less overhead! Forget it, I'm just going back to drinking coffee... To bad exercise isn't the slightest of temptation for a new hobbie, I think I would get great reseults.

Psyche Suckers!

For all you who responded to my blog back in December, SUCKERS! Nobody got a Christmas card this year, but yet most of you fell for my silly little manipulative scheme. For those of you who didn't get suckered into my manipulative tactics, bravo, your strong will is quite impressive.
Anywho, this new year has brought the glory of the Lord into our home.. details still pending.
to state a few that are complete....
Joe down graded his car, after I fasted beer an cheese for a year, he finally allowed GOD to change his heart! Hello Acura (poor Joe).
We are on our way to financial freedom. Cutting back on our first class Starbuck coffee and only allowing room for ChockFullofNuts coffee really does cut a pretty penny from the budget, yummy, (nutty cupoJoe).

Ava is a scooter, as Gabe calls her. She finds herself in a precarious split position when her socks slip on the carpet from her standing position. She is a social butterfly, where ever we are, she is sure to follow...
Gabe rejoined Tae Kwon Do and loves it. He digs the fighting. I wish I could tell you about all the belly aches I get from laughing so hard at the kid, but I'm trying not to give him a complex.
Okay, Okay I'll pulla Kathy Lee Gifford, only two stories...
Story #1
On his first sparring match against an 8 year old, he was getting pumbled (there is no contact, but if there was, he would have been tenderized meat), the yellow belt was giving him amazing kicks and transferred his energy to smooth jabs... Gabe was really put out so he pulled out the ol street moves dad taught him... he started hopping in a circle with his forearms over his face. Master Sung told him " good job Gabe!", but Gabe thought he was going to get chastised for the street move defense, so he started shouting from behind his arms "My dad told me that if someone was trying to hit me to cover my face!"
Gabe continued hopping in his fighting circle, until Master Song had to beg him to put his arms down and fight back rather than running himself into more kicks and punches. He never did let down his arms, dad taught him not too.
Story #2
When Mrs. Master Song teaches the class she has the class full of boys run off their energy by doing racing drills. They have to race in some fashion while performing a drill. Gabe being the die-hard competitor decides to focus on his speed, rather than the drill. He's up against a spritey little 4 year old, so Gabe has to win for his ego's sake, can't letta 4 year old beat him. So Master Song tells the boys to focus on the drills and Gabe, always doing what he is told, focuses hard on his skill and loses the race.
As the other kids is declared the winner Gabe shouts "I'm a loser, Oh man, I'm a loser. Loser, loser, loser" With his hands over his face he slides to the floor and bellows one more time, "I'm a big fat loser!"
Needless to say I was laughing so hard I believe he took my laughing as encouragement, because he finished his next few races still focused on his skills.

Till next time!

Wow, look at my sweet chillun

Nuts and bolts Momma got screwed!

I chant this wildly because yet again my offspring has chosen their father to represent their first word. I birth them with many hours of pain, raise them from the sweat off my brow...second place. Well Ava I'll take second place, but know this, when you want namebrand jeans for your 12th birthday, your getting JCPenny's sale rack delights, when your friends want to come over, they can only hang with you outside of our front door, because this mom will not be second!

Kidding folks, this is quite a mile stone, she is trying to pull herself up, scoots everywhere talks back, grunts and hollers when she wants something, like the keyboard for instance. I had to go put her down on the account of that mess.

A few good nuts

A mother's grievance! So my Gabers left me for 10 whole sleeps (that's how he counts days) I'm a mess! I wept at the movie theater when Gabe and I went out for his birthday to watch the Chronicles of Narnia. I've been keeping myself real busy by repainting the house and making gifts for the fam for the Christmas festivities fast approaching. Busy busy busy this is how I opress the emotions of missing my buddy. I'm tearing up I better sign off...

First bike, first fall

Gabe rode his first bike, care of Grandma Jan and Grandpa Dennis; it was a birthday to remember. He was very concerned that his bike might not have four wheels like the other 5 year olds, but he was reassured that his bike met his expectations when he saw the thing assembled and ready to roll. He took off a bit hesitant but got a feel for his new wheels after awhile. He conquered the hill on our neighbors drive way and also had his first spill, due to the turn of handel bars in the wicked turn of our cul-d-sac (refer to the photos). He survived and he wept, but he picked his bike back up and off he went. Emotionally scared I'm sure.

All of his excitement was delivered in a box. As for the rest of his birthday presents he could barely sleep for the next few days after his birthday party. He was swarmed with GI Joes, weapons, spiderman paraphanelia, and playdough. The kid has it all. When his good friend Azariah came over, there was no sharing to be had!

I can remember my first time on a bike without my training wheels. We lived in a brown house on the very busy 13th street. I climbed up on an antique wooden crate that was in the garage. Someone (I presume a parent or sibling) helped push me off to be on my independent way. I was scared of all the balancing that was required, I'm not much of a dare devil, so whoever was helping me grew weary and walked away to leave me to my own slow learning. I had to calm those voices in my head, screaming "look out for the car 15 feet away," "watch out for the curb 4 feet away!" "Don't let the tire hit that pebble, you'll go down hard and fast!" Frankly,I got tired of being a weeny and began pushing myself off the crate. I eventually got the hang of it and peddled down the block. I even remeber a cop car rolling by and I was thinking, " I wonder if he would save me if I rolled into the street?" Anywho, I was five, and I remember the shear terror of the idea of falling, I took a few spills , but I still had all my limbs when I turned 6.

Gabe and I think similarily,so I can safely assume that his mind was terrorizing him as he peddled his way around the block. Our big boy was a success and will be writing about this 20 years from now.

He's 5!

Mom's new version of pin the tail on the donkey, except there's no donkey , tail,or pin. Get a balloon, draw a picture of the special birthday boy and blind fold chilren and pop the head...cruel and unusual yt oh so fun!
His birthday was a hit with the crowd.