Saturday, April 09, 2011

The worst Ava storm in the history of Ava

Ava has a mess problem. Where ever she goes she makes a mess. You know where she was and what she's been doing in every room that she enters. It's hard to paint a mental picture if you've never seen her mess, but once you've witnessed it you know. Here 's the best example I can give. I walk into the bathroom minding my own business, My bathroom mind you, and there is toilet paper unraveled, an unflushed toilet with no toilet paper actually in the toilet, (why the unraveled toilet paper then?) Pants and gunders crumpled against the wall, toys on the sink counter and the soap tipped over next to a dripping faucet.
Or better yet, every toy emptied from her play drawers on the playroom floor. So when this happens, she decides it's too messy to play in the playroom. She then meanders down stairs to color and destroy the serenity of my kitchen.
"Ava why are you bringing your toys down here to play? Go upstairs and play."
"But mom I want to be by Clara."
LIES FROM THE DEVIL.
Really her playroom is such a mess her and Clara cannot physically play in it. Hence the southern migration into my space.
What is a smart mom to do? I'm glad you asked.
WE THREW IT ALL AWAY, and when I say we, I really mean Ava.

One wonderful Sunday I went upstairs to do some peace-loving Pilate's, my heart stopped and then started again and then stopped yet again.
My eyes then saw red, a really bright vibrant red.
I was blinded with shear mom rage.
The entire playroom was such a mess I tripped and had to rake the mess away with my hands just to place my Pilate's ball down on the floor. The worst part was, less than 12 hours earlier we had watched a movie in the exact spot where I was standing and we had been on a clean floor. Which means in less than 30 minutes she had made the mess.
I sentenced her to her room, and I seethed while doing Pilate's. A quiet voice spoke to me. Have her throw it all away. I'd love to take credit for the voice, but I'm pretty sure it was Jesus trying to save Ava's life!
So the next day, I nicely asked Ava to get 2 garbage bags and meet me upstairs. She was excited because she thought she was being promoted to Gabe's chore of taking out the trash.
I was kneeling on another raked through spot on the floor and I said, "hey Ava thanks for getting the bags. I need you to take everything on the floor and throw it away. You apparently don't like your toys so you treat them like trash, so we better throw them away." I smiled and waited for the Ahh moment.
Tears.
Weeping.
"Mom, but all my Littlest Pet Shop toys and Barbies are on the floor. "
More weeping, Gut crying tears.
Falling on the floor.
Crocodile tears.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear about that Ava, We better get going, we sure have a lot of trash to pick up."
With every rustle of the bag made by a toy in the bag, especially the ones she likes, A gut wrenching sob came from little tornado Ava.
a half hour later, Ava hauled down 2 huge trash bags and put them by the kitchen trash.
Mom was all smiles. This is what I saw.



The next day I took out blue tape and taped off a 4 by 4 foot square around her toy boxes. This is now Ava's blue square. She can't play or mess up outside of her square. If she does, she has to throw those toys away.
So for all those bleeding heart liberals who are thinking just like Ava, I'm a mean mom; She did get to earn one garbage bag back after 2 long days of hurt-heart moping. She first had to promise that she would not mess up her new blue square EVER and she has 2 weeks to earn back her last garbage bag. Her 2 weeks were up today and she actually said I can throw all the toys in that bag.
So the technique was only half effective!

2 comments:

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

fantastic story stewart. u r such an inspiration. this tale will be told to emi and gg before bedtime.
genius

Lyz said...

Love you, you badass mom! Way to stick to your guns.

Oh, and by the way? "I'd love to take credit for the voice, but I'm pretty sure it was Jesus trying to save Ava's life!"

Hilarious. And truer words have never been spoken. Haven't we heard that the Lord works in mysterious ways? Pretty sure that to kids this is as mysterious as it gets!:)