Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Remedy for dirt eaters everywhere

This was solution #1. Wrap plastic wrap around opening of plant and enclose plastic with two rounds of tape.

How could this plan be flawed?

(Fade in theme Jeopardy music now)
Ava--"Alex, I'll take 'Out witting a stupidly flawed plan for 100 please."
Alex-- "Tear plastic wrap with one finger and stir dirt around at
liesure."
"Ava-- "'What is the easiest way to make a mom feel dumb about plan #1, which was contrived on behalf of her 11 month old who keeps eating the plant dirt?"
Alex--"Correct, you have the board."
Ava-- "Well, according to the board there is one more Daily Double, and I have enough to risk it all. Let's go for the category 'what it takes', for 600."
Alex-- " Yes the Daily Double Ava, What would you like to wager?
Ava-- "Let's put it all down Alex, I'm feeling really, really , really good about this one."
Alex-- " And the answer is ' set it up on a 2 foot high chair'. Ava take your time, you have all your money riding on your response."
Ava-- "what is what it took to place the delicious plant dirt out of reach from a hungry 11 month old."
Ding ding ding, crowd roars, people clap, audience rushes the stage! (Jeopardy music fades out)

It took her exactly 2 seconds to be fascinated with the shiny paper and poke a whole in it just big enough to swipe her lil fingers back and forth in the dirt like a sweet Fun Dip candy treat.
Yummm Fun Dips!
Ya know my dad would buy me a pack of Fun Dips while I watched my two older sisers ice skate. It was such a treat for me! Candy. All my own, then I had to hear about how bad the candy was for my teeth for the next hour. Some how the candy didn't taste so good knowing that I had to go home and brush my teeth.

Next time Ava wags her little fingers in the dirt and eats it with sheer blissfulness, I'm not going to brush her teeth or rinse her mouth out!
This is for all the parents who ruined a kids fun on the account of dental Hygien!
(Is this Cynthia McKinney logic or what?)

Ava's wrath is unbeatable!
Do you Feel it?
Can you feel this Anger pulsating through your computer screen?

Don't ever cover my plant dirt again,mom! Never

4 comments:

JADA said...

Baby Ava is so cute. Is she actaully yelling at you- or just playing?
p.s. Get rid of the stupid plant before your kid gets poinsoned or better yet- worms:(

JADA said...

to clearly clarify my last blog... That is exactly what I meant Poinsoned by your poinsetta!

JamaJama said...

She will be walking soon... no doubt thanks to the dirt she's been eating. It's a well known fact that dirt has minerals that provide strength to the bones.
Well, ok. I made that up. But, hey... kids eat dirt. Beats digging in the toilet and pulling out toilet paper to suck on. Imagine what fun AVA will have all summer in your back yard...

cowboy said...

tell her that it is ok to eat the dirt and encourage her to eat the dirt. Then, she won't. It is a Stewart thing. She wants to do something that she is told not too.