Thursday, August 09, 2007

Sweaty Mess


My first week back has been really hectic, but alas it is coming to a close. But of course in fine LaShay fashion I have a story to tell. The district I work for takes their Job UBER serious, and me, not so much. Do I love teaching? yeah. DO I actually work? for sure. Do I do a good job at what I do? I haven't heard any different. However, I enjoy life and I don't take it too seriously because otherwise you miss thing like oh let's say, fun stuff, funny things, and fun times! So needless to say all of the shirts who boss us around love teachers, but make sure we know that when reporting to the bosses, impress them! (Can do, and will do, because I got it like that)
We had an appointment to meet the board of education and we were told to dress up big time. For teachers this is some what hard to do, cause A. We're poorer than board members, and B. We deal with kids all day and they tend to excrete dirty stuff so we can afford to dress down a bit... I'm going somewhere with all this.
The day before Ava and I went girl shopping for a shirt that I can wear with my hot red patent, super wedged heels. They're Killer, and a tad bit risque for a teacher, so of course I had to have them!
The shirt I bought was a wrap around and I didn't try it on before the our BIG meeting... When i did put it on however, I found out that some one's lady humps were not quite big enug to "fill" the shirt into a full closure position. So guess whose white bra was open for all to see. Yeah MINE! Okay so I tried tying the wrap around as tight as I could, but I lost circulation in my waste and couldn't breathe, so I began looking frantically for a safety pin that I knew I didn't have.I tried on my suit coat and it only buttoned to my mid drift. OH MY GOOD JESUS,WHAT AM I GOING TO DO! I ran down the hall with an arm full of posters and other exiting-the-building stuff. Art teacher Alps tried unsuccessfully to find a safety pin. She decided that we should sew it, but I hollered, "there's no time"! She insisted that she would only put in a couple of stitches, so there we were me standing there with her hand down my shirt saying if I stick you I'm sorry, I said, "poke away...the blood will be a professional risk I will endure."
She only put 3 stitches in and I flew out the door, looking fairly hot, and then it hit me, no I am hot, really hot! It's 100 degrees outside and I am wearing a lined suit coat. I got into a hot car, with hot leather seats and I felt my hot shirt getting wet. By the time I pulled into the parking lot from my 3 minute drive I was officially sweaty. I hopped out of the car, AND THE 3 STITCHES BROKE!!!
There I was in all my glory my white bra for all to see...
SHAME
I saw a fellow teacher and she said "oh cute shoes" and I'm like "I know right", and I told her of my wardrobe malfunction and she said, I totally have tons of safety pins in my room, I internally gave her a dirty look. We walked on 10 more feet and she then said, just use the pin from your name badge. I turned my name badge over and low and behold, the whole time there sat a safety pin. I hollered, "You are so smart!" and she responded, " I know, I'm a teacher." (So true)
I then proceeded to hall donkey to the ladies and fix my shirt with a like fellow teacher, however her lady lumps were bigger, she was just wearing a slutty dress...cute print though!
I pinned it up and walked into the meeting completely sweaty and deca tired. I sat down and realized, I think I'm gonna pass out and sure enough I was getting light headed and my tongue was drying out. Oh yeah great, just my luck. So what does a girl to do. SIT and PRAY BABY!
Dear Jesus, please don't let me pass out. In the parking lot, fine. But please don't let me go down in the meeting." The light headedness continued and my tongue was so dry it felt cold when I breathed. I was the VERY LAST to introduce myself to the board, and sure enough Jesus gave me consciousness, cuz I stayed on my feet and finished with a good laugh from the crowd...
I guess that is what I get for trying to look so good, in this stupid heat!

3 comments:

Adriel and Joel said...

ummmmm.. i am not sure what to say... except.. well done Lasha well done (insert here an image of me giving you a standing ovation!"

JamaJama said...

What a day for the record books. Would love to see photo of that hot shirt and shoe combo.

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

Sounds like you took some peyote before the meeting.