Dear oldest sister: If I were your boss, I'd fire you right now. I am writing this private letter, for your eyes only, in response to how our last phone call ended. Okay, yeah I called you 4 times within a 5 minute time frame, but you didn't pick up your phone. And you may have been at work, but just because you're at work doesn't mean that's what's happenin and.. on another line? What is that,you have a hold button! Besides, are phone call actually "work"? Telemarketers do not come before family!
Anywho, just for that the pants that you say will fit you, will now arrive on your door step in 7-10 days instead of 2-3, AND they may or may not have holes in the crotch. If they do, they will be subtle so you will only notice them in a very public arena; or if you do discover them before you wear them, you will be very disappointed, because they will be the pair you're really excited about.
Next time, if you don't want me calling so much, pick up next time.
P.S. are you still coming to my house for spring break? SO FUN!
Love, lil sista
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Sleep deprived and loving the islands: irie
I've been totally engaged with my new book, Joe's Christmas gift to me, and I have only gotten 5 hours of sleep the past 2 nights. So in honor of sleep I dedicate these new photo releases of our time in Jamaica: irie.
Here is evidence ofour cliff jumping and JOe's machismo!
Notice the white man's version of cliff jumping and than the native Jamaican's version of cliff jumping. There are subtle differences, but the natives jamaica me crazy mon.
Monday, January 07, 2008
The sweet sound of urine
For all of you who actually speak to us, you are well aware that we have been trying to potty train AVA. To no avail, she is stronger-willed and smarted than her parents. "They" are big fat liars who say that girls and the second-born are easier to potty train. LIARS, all of you!
But we have found her weakness! PRINCESSES. They make a potty training kit featuring: princess pull ups (training pants for the laymen), princess stickers, princess how-to poster and visual aid reminder, princess potty book, and a princess crown. The on-going theme of this box is SUCCESS!
It's been rough going, but we are in it to win it this time! This morning she woke up dry and tinkled on her potty chair! Which in fact she has choosen to hate from the get go.
Visualize this: In our bathroom I have a vanity (vanity not required to use the vanity!) and next to my bench, where I dry my hair and oogle, sits the lone potty seat. It's next to the step that leads to the bathtub, so it looks awkward and small. She has always hated it, she prefers the actual huaman size one. She has a Napolean complex, like nara... big personality, and doesn't see the size or maturity difference bewteen us and her, so the need to sit on the big potty doesn't surprise me. Anywho, she got these new flannel big girl Dora pj's, so she's really in the big girl zone. She takes down her jammies and sits there. She takes forever! Her big thing is to always say she's done, so being the skeptic I didn't believe her. When I looked down into treh hot pink bowl, EUREKA! Gold liquid.
After the tinkle, she got some high fives, a fun potty dance,and 2 M&M's and a Princess sticker. The bases are fully loaded folks. We're ready for a potty trained 3 year old.
Pictures to follow.
But we have found her weakness! PRINCESSES. They make a potty training kit featuring: princess pull ups (training pants for the laymen), princess stickers, princess how-to poster and visual aid reminder, princess potty book, and a princess crown. The on-going theme of this box is SUCCESS!
It's been rough going, but we are in it to win it this time! This morning she woke up dry and tinkled on her potty chair! Which in fact she has choosen to hate from the get go.
Visualize this: In our bathroom I have a vanity (vanity not required to use the vanity!) and next to my bench, where I dry my hair and oogle, sits the lone potty seat. It's next to the step that leads to the bathtub, so it looks awkward and small. She has always hated it, she prefers the actual huaman size one. She has a Napolean complex, like nara... big personality, and doesn't see the size or maturity difference bewteen us and her, so the need to sit on the big potty doesn't surprise me. Anywho, she got these new flannel big girl Dora pj's, so she's really in the big girl zone. She takes down her jammies and sits there. She takes forever! Her big thing is to always say she's done, so being the skeptic I didn't believe her. When I looked down into treh hot pink bowl, EUREKA! Gold liquid.
After the tinkle, she got some high fives, a fun potty dance,and 2 M&M's and a Princess sticker. The bases are fully loaded folks. We're ready for a potty trained 3 year old.
Pictures to follow.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
LaShay threat level is --A glaring yellow
My health is failing, so the LaShay level of threat has elevated to a annoying, glaring yellow today. I have heel/feet problems that shoots pain up my leg all day long, my last molar hurts and gives me headaches cuase the filling is sitting on my nerves, I'm 20 pounds overweight, according to my height, my hair color washes my skin tones out, my face and skin is going through a dry spell and I need more sleep.
This level could change with any cup of strong coffee, but I guarantee that this yellow level of threat will only swing to orange or a blarring red if provoked.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
MERRY NEW YEAR
Merry New Year! We stayed up until 12 folks, that's huge. We had an incentive though, our newly turned 7 year old wanted to ring in the new year for the first time. WE got to explain what "balls dropping" meant, and I don't mean puberty, but rather the NYC celebrtation. Unfortunately, they had a hurankous hostest and host that practically ruined the whole moment for everyone!
I digress, we kissed, we hugged, did a tad bit of yelling, and sent the 7 year old off to bed. Then we watched a few episodes of The Office season 3, and I finished the night off listening to Joe suck air. To bed at 2!
Prior to coming home at 10 p.m. to celebrate with the offspring. Joe took me to a Brazillian restaruant where large men walked around hanging their hot meat off of skewers to tantalize you. WE were tantalized! And boy did we eat. We had a four course Brazillian meal. It was fabulous. I ate more lamb then a person should and had 2 lobster tails.
WE finally found a babysitter, so we're free to go out now, now if only we had more money to do so...Fun was had by all!
Hear ye Hear ye, The stewart's of MO will be sending out a Christmas card by the end of January. For real this time, complete with a photo! Say what? Yup, but don't get your hopes up, I'm pretty sure the photos are blurry.
I digress, we kissed, we hugged, did a tad bit of yelling, and sent the 7 year old off to bed. Then we watched a few episodes of The Office season 3, and I finished the night off listening to Joe suck air. To bed at 2!
Prior to coming home at 10 p.m. to celebrate with the offspring. Joe took me to a Brazillian restaruant where large men walked around hanging their hot meat off of skewers to tantalize you. WE were tantalized! And boy did we eat. We had a four course Brazillian meal. It was fabulous. I ate more lamb then a person should and had 2 lobster tails.
WE finally found a babysitter, so we're free to go out now, now if only we had more money to do so...Fun was had by all!
Hear ye Hear ye, The stewart's of MO will be sending out a Christmas card by the end of January. For real this time, complete with a photo! Say what? Yup, but don't get your hopes up, I'm pretty sure the photos are blurry.
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