Wrastlers

There must be a manual that all 4,5,6, year old boys get that instruct them on how to wrestle like the pros. These boys were getting tough with each other. I was surprised that they didn't try and pee on my chase lounge for territorial reasons.
I made them shake hands to prove that they were still buds, but then someone went for a choke hold. Momentary peace works for me!
I could only walk away and let the best boy win.

Mr. Hoppity

Just in time for Easter I have my very own Mr. Hoppity. He's not as quiet as a rabbit, and he certainly isn't as furry and cuddley and he eats a heck of a lot more than just lettuce. His real name is I-snapped-my-achilles-tendon-while-playing-flag-football, a.k.a Joe. He's not really a rabbit folks, he's my husband. His right butt cheek and thigh is super buff, and he's about as graceful as a skid loader on wet grass, but he's got the speed of a jaguar on one foot. Bless his little heart!

disproportioned baby

Ava's hitting her shoe phase. Not only are her thighs in dramatic disproportion to her body, but now her feet look all awkward now that she likes to wear everyone else's shoes but her own. Gabe's shoes are now her target.

mail oxymoron

Speaking of quagmire.
I receive junk mail and as a rule abiding citizen I have no clue how to get rid of it now. Those junk mailers are out smarting us by the day.
Stay one step ahead folks... they're only gonna get trickier.
If anyone wants to buy a box-load of opened junk mail that you can't throw away holla at a gangta I'll over night it!

A true sick trooper

9:30am woke up with snot glued to my forehead and a slew of poo in my doo. (we're learning ryhming words at school, APPLIED!)
9:32 Mom discovered poo, funny!
9"35 hungry as all get out, wandered around with mom upstairs until she got her head together
9:40 Empty tray,gave hints that mom was too slow with up and coming waffles, failed attempt
9:40.5 started crying, mom thought it was cute, snapped a photo, then gave me cinni waffles
9:41 Can't taste a darn thing, where's Percy?
9:42 Got thirsty, fridge too tall. DANG. Whined at fridge to someone got me liquid refreshment, the Spaniards call this agua.
9:45 Really needed some lovin, sat on mom's lap for 2 mintues, that was enough to refill my love bank.
9:47 decided to color all over Gabe's reader. What is that strange noise?
9:47.5 oh I'm jibber jabberin..wierd... it just keeps going...blah blah blah blah, I wonder if any one else can hear it too?
9:48 look 2 crayons Raw talent.
9:50 sneezed my brains practically right out of my eye sockets. Mom gave me a tissue and told me to wipe my nose. I licked the tissue instead just to see what she'd do. She just laughed and took another photo. What is that woman good for?
9:52 Watched the Food Network for a few, yumm beef bourgoin, I made that this morning all ready... boredom hits
9:55 STill bored of all this crap and decided to wander around the kitchen
10am Mom tells me all these photos were to show up cuz GG, we're off to blog. I downloaded the photos myself.

Church #3

We were really excited about chuch #3. The drive was nice, 5 minutes from home base, the oarking lot was alright, a bit icey for my taste, and the entrance was inviting. Like acozy coffee house (first warning). The greeter walked up cheerfully with jeans on and a cuddly turtleneck on (smile +, coffee 2nd warning). Dropping off the kids to the kids ministry was fine, no big tells there... Entering service, the greeter whispers just sit anywhere don't worry about it being dark. My thoughts were, well great I'll just sit on this fat ladies lap then because the only light in the place is on the actor on stage monologuing.
We walked in on the middle of the "Drama" as an aspiring actoress I'm thinking, I could do that...but do I want to. The play was about believeing in your self, ...follow up song was CHeryl Crows "I will Believe"... enter minister, pastor, no title man Roy (there are no titles at this church, they want to seem unchurched), so this guys couldn't be called pastor, just Roy in tight faded jeans & flannel, his Bible if that what it was, lookes like a book of poems he tinkeres with every now & again.
In the back were tables with candles in the middle and2-3 chairs surrounding each, and I could hear the slurpping of coffee, the liquid stew could be smelled everywhere because everyone had their travel mug, sipping as they listened to ROY; like a bunch of addicts clinging to their vices they can't put it down for 1 or 2 hours (joe and my ultimate pet peeve about the mid west). I saw one lady whip out her Bible, but I'm not sure why cuz Roy only paraphrased through the whole sermon (speech for the unchurhced)what his intended chapter and verse was all about.
LISTEN READER: if you're going to shadow a church door, let's bring it on the whole bit, give me the worship (not present at church #3, the praying (which there was none except at the end but you wouldn't have known it cuz the lights were out again), I'd like to see the people in the church and not to heckle them, but to know who the heck you are when we leave the place.
Everything is so secretive or set around everyone's comfort zones. Jesus made people uncomfy, duh, that's why they killed HIM. He hung in public for a nonexistant sin, DUH. So why can't these white folks up here swallow a bit of there pride and turn the lights on, put down the coffee, clap their hands (on beat is not an expectation), raise em high if you know why your worshiping and all the other stuff will grow on ya later.
Suck it up people, Jesus makes you want to do things you never wanted to do before: sing, dance, love ugly people, like dumb people. .. I'll stop here before I get in trouble.
Joe's in the bathroom dropping the kids off at the pool while singing Young Jeezy's song "I'm a go getta".
That should take the spot light off of me for a bit!

Goodbye ATL hello KCMO

Not another one Michals!

Sea of white folks

Today was a tiring day. Not only did I not work, but I also attended my first ever professional development day. Instead of being professionally developed, I developed a professional complex. Not only am I no longer "whitey" in a sea of non whities, a tab bit odd really, but I am totally out of my element Donny!
Apparently I laugh too loud for these folks up here, they don't like my music, there is no slang in the work place, and I had to explain what "the 4-1-1" means not only to my foreign kids, but also to my fellow staff members! Ugh ( it mean what's the information ya'll)
I digress: At my Prof Development...
no one looked at me, no random acts of dancing occurred, no raising of the roof of any kind, nor
"girl how you been doin" shout-outs across the room were not present anywhere.
Everyone walked quietly along there merry ways and when they talked in groups I totally couldn't hear their conversations.
If people don't like me they sure are good at faking it, not cool! I'd rather know.
The great White transition has really affected me. Every day I get into my truck and rock out with RICHBOY "Just bought a Cadillac, Put's some D's on it" or may be a bit of Young Jeezy " And I love it" Some times to remind me of my hood I bounce with a little T.I. (he's my babies father) "I got my top laid back and my beat real low." too top it all off, "My babies father ," is not understood here either.

I just blended in here, I'm too fat to be hot, I'm too old to be hip, I'm now just another one of those folks that blends into the crowd with all the other tall short, thin, fat people who teach here.

So far my kids love me, the good news is none of them look like me, home sweet home. I teach ELL and most of my kids are from Micronesia (get a map and look all the way down to the right, past Australia), Russia, the Hispanics are representing, so are the Somalis with their headdresses. I have a few Iranians to stir into my multi-ethnic mix.
Love em as much as I do, it is a challenge to teach here in MO, but not because of the kids. The teachers have an heir of self importance and arrogance, they don't want to teach my kids because their foreign. I'm still a bit confused by this...
Any who...
Our church search is not going as well as I had hoped for. Church #1 had a laser light show during worship, if ever there was a moment where the Spirit was chased out of me, it happened when the laser flashed across my face in mid song.
Church #2 was going real strong until the Pastor started singing a Temptations song within his sermon, and at the end they had a spontaneous group jog around the church, most were in high heels and I couldn't keep up with them!
Church #3 is yet to be attended, you'll know when we have settled into a church...

I'm not complaining, life is really simple 15 minutes to work, Ava's school 1 mile from home, Gabe loves his school. Joe tore his Achilles Tendon, surgery on Thursday, recovery until July.
God is real good, life has just begun for us here and we're ready for the challenge.

i just got dumber

Tyra just made me dumber. I was flipping channels, and who was she interviewing, none other than LL Cool J (ladies love cool johns for the lame). The teaser was, " And when we come back I'm going to ask LL questions no one has ever asked him before."
I was hooked, like a unintelligent twit, so I hung out to hear what the royal chocolatey piece of goodness would say to her really unique and probing questions...
The camera fades out and foreshadows Tyra's depth,
"LL what is the smelliest, (dramatic pause) stinkiest part of your body?"
What? My brain twitched and I felt my IQ drop atleast 20 points. I almost went retarded as I sat there processing the dumbest women in the world with a talk show asking the hottest black man ever about the lack of personal hygeine.


DUMB, DUMBER DUMBEST!

Vote Now!

Resident 1 or Resident 2
Who wins folks?
We both have very distinct looks, but only one can win the best of licence photo. The standards aren't really set in place, but your votes will count regardless.
Vote now

Do you see what I see? Holla

Moving in 101

DO not let your dog explore your new home with brand new carpets after a 4 day road trip in which she was caged in the back of the car!
Percy broke in the carpet with a 4 day-brewin steamer! We smelled it at the bottom of the stairs before we saw it. Since we had not even unloaded a single box there was no carpet cleaner to be found for 2 whole days. The poo was gone, but the stink and sticky carpet lingered. She had to let it linger!


Baby and brother love the new house. Gabe slept in Ava's room for the first 2 nights. He was lonely. Sleeping in the apartment together had it's lasting affects

House is coming together nicely. Apparently the people who owned the home before us loved tile. And I got to clean it for 3 hours today! I was really excited about that.


I start my job tomorrow if Park Hill school district doesn't declare tomorrow a snow day like 3/4 of the city area already has. I'm teaching English to foreigners, their legal status is none of my business. Irony is tricky!

Wow too much too say, so I'll draw it!

Jobs are too new to make any comments worth noting! I will keep an on going Venn Diagram comparing my new teaching job to the old one... To be Continued




Gas line was busted, house and neighbors house could haveblown sky high, house was evacuated for 5 hours, gas crew woked on expelling gas all night, big hole in corner of lawn still large, hole is now snowy and iced over, illegals still employed!

Here is a sample of our new life here in MO!

Do dodo dee do

Living life in Liberty, MO is slow going and fancy free.


A few bumps in the road... but we're still stickin it out!

our new house coming soon

The BUSY Real Estate Agent

Not even his own business will get in the way of doing our business!

Ken has been a great agent working on our behalf. We have four houses picked out and we are waiting on our offers to be accepted or rejected. Let's pray for a big ol acceptance hug rather than a dejection slap.
I'll post pics of the house we are going to purchase once we know which offer has been acepted.
The KC trip was successful, how successful we have to wait to find out.

We saw gabe's school and it looked thriving and fun. The church bought an old school building out in the country for its elementary school and built a brand new facility for the high school and church building. I'm excited to get him involved. He's a bit nervous, I can tell, for the change. But I assured him that there is 3 huge jungle gyms outside and a baseball field and lots of open space to sword fight in. He relaxed a bit after that clarification.
Joe's work is no more than a 10 minute drive from all the homes and 5 minutes from Gabe's school.
I still have to get a job, I'm looking for a 6 month temporary job, since it's never good coming into a school n the middle of the shool year, nor is it good to leave in the middle of the school year, but alas here I am looking for a new job. I'll keep you posted on that event!
Lots to be determined, only a few weeks left to be determined...

We now have necks!

Gabe will be 6 in 21 days. In one year he has learned many things, but the thing that I am most proud of his new found understanding of the human anatomy. At first when he drew we were just 2 circles combined with lines coming out of thebody representing limbs. That evolved into ovals with oval limbs, but now folks... WE HAVE NECKS, and look at the defined limbs. Our faces have noses and for some odd reason our eyes blood shot, but that is neither here nor there, we have necks! Amazing transformation. Simply an amazing 5 year old, soon to be 6

Sir smelly Butt tells on himself

Jordan rolls up in a huge truck with a hot Nelly song playing. We both get soaked getting in and out of the vehicle, and running into the rental car establishment. We sit at his mock-cubicle and begin my paper work.
He stops, looks at me, and begins sniffing. "do you smell that?"
"no." I say a bit shocked. Awkward!
Working with middle school aged beasts I'm very aware of unwelcomed smells,. but it happens and I'm trained not to react to them inappropriately. Jordan begins sniffing all around. He sniffs behind him, under the desk, he lifts his shoes to look for poo I assume, and then proceeds to look under mine, sniffing of course.
"You don't smell that?"
"No, I really don't"
He shruggs and continues to work, he shakes his head every few seconds and scrunches up his nose. He then stops working leaves his mock cubicle and walks over to the another co woker.
"Do you smell that?"
"Maybe it's your garbage." He goes back over to his work sqaure and removes his trash.

He continues to work, but sniffs every now and then, obviously offended by the putred smell. I want to ask him if he has wiped his butt this morning but, that would be rude, and I just want my car. I didn't smell anything and I wasn't about to stop him from working since he was the one trying to get me a rental car.

After a few more comments about the smell and watching him struggle to control himself from smelling various parts of his body and mine, I finally got my car. We shared a few friendly smiles and nods and I was outta there.

Here's my theory and worldly advice. If you smell something funky, and the other person does not, it's probably coming from you. With that in mind you don't want to give away the root of the stink, so keep it inside your head, unless the other person mentions it too you or begins looking woozy!
Bad smells, especailly smells that cause you to suffer are unfortunate, but they happen, but it is one of those things that no one wants to smell. You see, where ever Jordan went, there was the smell! No one but him and another co worker close enough to smell him actually took in the funk. That's a good thing. Instead of finding the root of the stink, he unintelligently told on himself indirectly. What he said was "hey there is a really bad smell coming from somewhere on my person. PeeEww"
Not smart, Jordan! But after all that is why he was the sucker who works at a car rental place and is the bottom ring who has to pick up the stranded vehiclist.
You stink Jordan metaphorically and physically!

The Ava

The morning started with a kick in the pants from my coffee, I appreciated it since I had to be out of the house by 7a.m. It was exactly 7a.m. when the ava struck. As I was pouring my "to go" cup of coffee I walked to the front door to grab the ava's coat and I saw a trail of oatmeal leading to a sitting ava at the front door spoonig sloppy oatmeal up to her mouth.
The trail lead to the ava's feet to the bathroom where she found my "togo" oatmeal. What does a now awestruck mom do, let the dog out of her cage, that's what. I let the dog lick the oatmeal as I get the coat on the ava. The ava is non-compliant, and writhes at the loss of the oatmeal. I begin driving the ava to her at-home daycare and realize I don't have my phone with me which I need for my very busy day! So I turn the car around to try and find my phone. I seach all over the house, I retrace my steps. I last had it when I was talking with nara. Yes, I blame nara. It's her fault, where did I place that phone! It's now 7:25. Ugh, I leave and drop off the ava. I drop off the brother of the ava and all is well on this dreary rainy blasted day.

I get to school at 9:15, I should have been there at 8:30, and I'm lost all day without my phone. .. huff... I continue working, this is all I can do. Meanwhile I am expecting 5 phone calls in regards to my stupid truck which has been defiled by the dumb teen driver... (leave the hostility at home Stew!)

The day closes without any real incidents without my phone, I feel weak all day, like I have kryptonite in my pocket, nothing gels as it should, but the day is done.
I pick up the children and I begin searching for the phone. It is nowhere to be found...
So what does a mother do, she gets on her knees (prayers have already been said) and begins crawling at the level of the ava. I begin searching everything at eye level of the ava. I go room by smelly room iin my apartment. Careful how I shake the boxes as I search the shoes, I don't want to rattle the roaches. No phone anywhere. The last room didn't not hold much hope for me, there is only one twin bed, the ava's sleepy quarters (portable crib) and a closet full of toys. Nothing was eye level but the crib. Still crawling around I peek over her crib, nothing that the eye can see, but pillows, 2 blankets, and a lion. I'm hopeless... I turn in defeat when it dawns on me, the ava is sneaky, as well as forgetful. The ava forgets where she has organized her business, so I lift the blankets and BEHOLD THE PHONE! Oh the ava struck again!

Letter of encouragement to a SISTA

Dear Sista, Jordan, Joey,Jon, Danny, & Donny have a word for you!
Times are tough, but music has a way of changing a down trodden soul to a hip, upbeat Democrack butt-kicking dance machine!



Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance. just get on the floor and do the new kids’ dance.
Don’t worry ’bout nothing ’cause it won’t take long.(rap:) we’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, ’cause you gotta beHangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.(rap:) we’re rough.
Everybody’s always talkin’ ’bout who’s on top.
don’t cross our path ’cause you’re gonna get stomped.
We ain’t gonna give anybody any slack.
and if you try to keep us down we’re gonna come right back,
And you know we’reHangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, we’re rough.
Yeah
I'm not that kind of guy who can take a broken heart
So dont ever leaveI don't want to see us part
the very thought of losing you means
that everything would go down under
i'll be loving you forever
just as long as you want me to be
i'll be loving you forever
all this love's for you and me
i'll be loving you
i'll be
i'll be loving you
loving you
and the things you do
yaaa it's forever
i'll be loving you
i'll be
i'll be loving you
loving you
yaaai
count the blessings that keep our love new
there's one for me and a million for you
there's just so much that i wanna say
that when i look at you all my thoughts get in the way
i'll be loving you forever