Goodbye ATL hello KCMO

Not another one Michals!

Sea of white folks

Today was a tiring day. Not only did I not work, but I also attended my first ever professional development day. Instead of being professionally developed, I developed a professional complex. Not only am I no longer "whitey" in a sea of non whities, a tab bit odd really, but I am totally out of my element Donny!
Apparently I laugh too loud for these folks up here, they don't like my music, there is no slang in the work place, and I had to explain what "the 4-1-1" means not only to my foreign kids, but also to my fellow staff members! Ugh ( it mean what's the information ya'll)
I digress: At my Prof Development...
no one looked at me, no random acts of dancing occurred, no raising of the roof of any kind, nor
"girl how you been doin" shout-outs across the room were not present anywhere.
Everyone walked quietly along there merry ways and when they talked in groups I totally couldn't hear their conversations.
If people don't like me they sure are good at faking it, not cool! I'd rather know.
The great White transition has really affected me. Every day I get into my truck and rock out with RICHBOY "Just bought a Cadillac, Put's some D's on it" or may be a bit of Young Jeezy " And I love it" Some times to remind me of my hood I bounce with a little T.I. (he's my babies father) "I got my top laid back and my beat real low." too top it all off, "My babies father ," is not understood here either.

I just blended in here, I'm too fat to be hot, I'm too old to be hip, I'm now just another one of those folks that blends into the crowd with all the other tall short, thin, fat people who teach here.

So far my kids love me, the good news is none of them look like me, home sweet home. I teach ELL and most of my kids are from Micronesia (get a map and look all the way down to the right, past Australia), Russia, the Hispanics are representing, so are the Somalis with their headdresses. I have a few Iranians to stir into my multi-ethnic mix.
Love em as much as I do, it is a challenge to teach here in MO, but not because of the kids. The teachers have an heir of self importance and arrogance, they don't want to teach my kids because their foreign. I'm still a bit confused by this...
Any who...
Our church search is not going as well as I had hoped for. Church #1 had a laser light show during worship, if ever there was a moment where the Spirit was chased out of me, it happened when the laser flashed across my face in mid song.
Church #2 was going real strong until the Pastor started singing a Temptations song within his sermon, and at the end they had a spontaneous group jog around the church, most were in high heels and I couldn't keep up with them!
Church #3 is yet to be attended, you'll know when we have settled into a church...

I'm not complaining, life is really simple 15 minutes to work, Ava's school 1 mile from home, Gabe loves his school. Joe tore his Achilles Tendon, surgery on Thursday, recovery until July.
God is real good, life has just begun for us here and we're ready for the challenge.

i just got dumber

Tyra just made me dumber. I was flipping channels, and who was she interviewing, none other than LL Cool J (ladies love cool johns for the lame). The teaser was, " And when we come back I'm going to ask LL questions no one has ever asked him before."
I was hooked, like a unintelligent twit, so I hung out to hear what the royal chocolatey piece of goodness would say to her really unique and probing questions...
The camera fades out and foreshadows Tyra's depth,
"LL what is the smelliest, (dramatic pause) stinkiest part of your body?"
What? My brain twitched and I felt my IQ drop atleast 20 points. I almost went retarded as I sat there processing the dumbest women in the world with a talk show asking the hottest black man ever about the lack of personal hygeine.


DUMB, DUMBER DUMBEST!

Vote Now!

Resident 1 or Resident 2
Who wins folks?
We both have very distinct looks, but only one can win the best of licence photo. The standards aren't really set in place, but your votes will count regardless.
Vote now

Do you see what I see? Holla

Moving in 101

DO not let your dog explore your new home with brand new carpets after a 4 day road trip in which she was caged in the back of the car!
Percy broke in the carpet with a 4 day-brewin steamer! We smelled it at the bottom of the stairs before we saw it. Since we had not even unloaded a single box there was no carpet cleaner to be found for 2 whole days. The poo was gone, but the stink and sticky carpet lingered. She had to let it linger!


Baby and brother love the new house. Gabe slept in Ava's room for the first 2 nights. He was lonely. Sleeping in the apartment together had it's lasting affects

House is coming together nicely. Apparently the people who owned the home before us loved tile. And I got to clean it for 3 hours today! I was really excited about that.


I start my job tomorrow if Park Hill school district doesn't declare tomorrow a snow day like 3/4 of the city area already has. I'm teaching English to foreigners, their legal status is none of my business. Irony is tricky!

Wow too much too say, so I'll draw it!

Jobs are too new to make any comments worth noting! I will keep an on going Venn Diagram comparing my new teaching job to the old one... To be Continued




Gas line was busted, house and neighbors house could haveblown sky high, house was evacuated for 5 hours, gas crew woked on expelling gas all night, big hole in corner of lawn still large, hole is now snowy and iced over, illegals still employed!

Here is a sample of our new life here in MO!

Do dodo dee do

Living life in Liberty, MO is slow going and fancy free.


A few bumps in the road... but we're still stickin it out!

our new house coming soon

The BUSY Real Estate Agent

Not even his own business will get in the way of doing our business!

Ken has been a great agent working on our behalf. We have four houses picked out and we are waiting on our offers to be accepted or rejected. Let's pray for a big ol acceptance hug rather than a dejection slap.
I'll post pics of the house we are going to purchase once we know which offer has been acepted.
The KC trip was successful, how successful we have to wait to find out.

We saw gabe's school and it looked thriving and fun. The church bought an old school building out in the country for its elementary school and built a brand new facility for the high school and church building. I'm excited to get him involved. He's a bit nervous, I can tell, for the change. But I assured him that there is 3 huge jungle gyms outside and a baseball field and lots of open space to sword fight in. He relaxed a bit after that clarification.
Joe's work is no more than a 10 minute drive from all the homes and 5 minutes from Gabe's school.
I still have to get a job, I'm looking for a 6 month temporary job, since it's never good coming into a school n the middle of the shool year, nor is it good to leave in the middle of the school year, but alas here I am looking for a new job. I'll keep you posted on that event!
Lots to be determined, only a few weeks left to be determined...

We now have necks!

Gabe will be 6 in 21 days. In one year he has learned many things, but the thing that I am most proud of his new found understanding of the human anatomy. At first when he drew we were just 2 circles combined with lines coming out of thebody representing limbs. That evolved into ovals with oval limbs, but now folks... WE HAVE NECKS, and look at the defined limbs. Our faces have noses and for some odd reason our eyes blood shot, but that is neither here nor there, we have necks! Amazing transformation. Simply an amazing 5 year old, soon to be 6

Sir smelly Butt tells on himself

Jordan rolls up in a huge truck with a hot Nelly song playing. We both get soaked getting in and out of the vehicle, and running into the rental car establishment. We sit at his mock-cubicle and begin my paper work.
He stops, looks at me, and begins sniffing. "do you smell that?"
"no." I say a bit shocked. Awkward!
Working with middle school aged beasts I'm very aware of unwelcomed smells,. but it happens and I'm trained not to react to them inappropriately. Jordan begins sniffing all around. He sniffs behind him, under the desk, he lifts his shoes to look for poo I assume, and then proceeds to look under mine, sniffing of course.
"You don't smell that?"
"No, I really don't"
He shruggs and continues to work, he shakes his head every few seconds and scrunches up his nose. He then stops working leaves his mock cubicle and walks over to the another co woker.
"Do you smell that?"
"Maybe it's your garbage." He goes back over to his work sqaure and removes his trash.

He continues to work, but sniffs every now and then, obviously offended by the putred smell. I want to ask him if he has wiped his butt this morning but, that would be rude, and I just want my car. I didn't smell anything and I wasn't about to stop him from working since he was the one trying to get me a rental car.

After a few more comments about the smell and watching him struggle to control himself from smelling various parts of his body and mine, I finally got my car. We shared a few friendly smiles and nods and I was outta there.

Here's my theory and worldly advice. If you smell something funky, and the other person does not, it's probably coming from you. With that in mind you don't want to give away the root of the stink, so keep it inside your head, unless the other person mentions it too you or begins looking woozy!
Bad smells, especailly smells that cause you to suffer are unfortunate, but they happen, but it is one of those things that no one wants to smell. You see, where ever Jordan went, there was the smell! No one but him and another co worker close enough to smell him actually took in the funk. That's a good thing. Instead of finding the root of the stink, he unintelligently told on himself indirectly. What he said was "hey there is a really bad smell coming from somewhere on my person. PeeEww"
Not smart, Jordan! But after all that is why he was the sucker who works at a car rental place and is the bottom ring who has to pick up the stranded vehiclist.
You stink Jordan metaphorically and physically!

The Ava

The morning started with a kick in the pants from my coffee, I appreciated it since I had to be out of the house by 7a.m. It was exactly 7a.m. when the ava struck. As I was pouring my "to go" cup of coffee I walked to the front door to grab the ava's coat and I saw a trail of oatmeal leading to a sitting ava at the front door spoonig sloppy oatmeal up to her mouth.
The trail lead to the ava's feet to the bathroom where she found my "togo" oatmeal. What does a now awestruck mom do, let the dog out of her cage, that's what. I let the dog lick the oatmeal as I get the coat on the ava. The ava is non-compliant, and writhes at the loss of the oatmeal. I begin driving the ava to her at-home daycare and realize I don't have my phone with me which I need for my very busy day! So I turn the car around to try and find my phone. I seach all over the house, I retrace my steps. I last had it when I was talking with nara. Yes, I blame nara. It's her fault, where did I place that phone! It's now 7:25. Ugh, I leave and drop off the ava. I drop off the brother of the ava and all is well on this dreary rainy blasted day.

I get to school at 9:15, I should have been there at 8:30, and I'm lost all day without my phone. .. huff... I continue working, this is all I can do. Meanwhile I am expecting 5 phone calls in regards to my stupid truck which has been defiled by the dumb teen driver... (leave the hostility at home Stew!)

The day closes without any real incidents without my phone, I feel weak all day, like I have kryptonite in my pocket, nothing gels as it should, but the day is done.
I pick up the children and I begin searching for the phone. It is nowhere to be found...
So what does a mother do, she gets on her knees (prayers have already been said) and begins crawling at the level of the ava. I begin searching everything at eye level of the ava. I go room by smelly room iin my apartment. Careful how I shake the boxes as I search the shoes, I don't want to rattle the roaches. No phone anywhere. The last room didn't not hold much hope for me, there is only one twin bed, the ava's sleepy quarters (portable crib) and a closet full of toys. Nothing was eye level but the crib. Still crawling around I peek over her crib, nothing that the eye can see, but pillows, 2 blankets, and a lion. I'm hopeless... I turn in defeat when it dawns on me, the ava is sneaky, as well as forgetful. The ava forgets where she has organized her business, so I lift the blankets and BEHOLD THE PHONE! Oh the ava struck again!

Letter of encouragement to a SISTA

Dear Sista, Jordan, Joey,Jon, Danny, & Donny have a word for you!
Times are tough, but music has a way of changing a down trodden soul to a hip, upbeat Democrack butt-kicking dance machine!



Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance. just get on the floor and do the new kids’ dance.
Don’t worry ’bout nothing ’cause it won’t take long.(rap:) we’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, ’cause you gotta beHangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.(rap:) we’re rough.
Everybody’s always talkin’ ’bout who’s on top.
don’t cross our path ’cause you’re gonna get stomped.
We ain’t gonna give anybody any slack.
and if you try to keep us down we’re gonna come right back,
And you know we’reHangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
are you tough enough?
Hangin’ tough, we’re rough.
Yeah
I'm not that kind of guy who can take a broken heart
So dont ever leaveI don't want to see us part
the very thought of losing you means
that everything would go down under
i'll be loving you forever
just as long as you want me to be
i'll be loving you forever
all this love's for you and me
i'll be loving you
i'll be
i'll be loving you
loving you
and the things you do
yaaa it's forever
i'll be loving you
i'll be
i'll be loving you
loving you
yaaai
count the blessings that keep our love new
there's one for me and a million for you
there's just so much that i wanna say
that when i look at you all my thoughts get in the way
i'll be loving you forever

Ms. Green's encouraging words

Meet Ms. GReen, she is our school counselor. She is a precious jem of encouraging words. Need a warm fuzzy, she is a warm fuzzy!
Here are some quotes to enourage you all as she does me on a daily basis.

Ms. Green to random others:

"I'm getting stupid, I need to stop hanging out with you."
"Ohh her face looks fat, don't tell her I said that.
"She looks terrible, why'd she wear that? What's wrong with her?"
"He's ugly, just like his sister and mother."
"I don't know why Ms. Stewart treats me like that."
"Are you putting those photos on the internet, I should have taken off my clothes!"
giggle, "you're not smart!"
"Here are your awards try not to lose them like you usually do?"
"you obviously don't hang out with people who speak their mind, that's what I do, I just say what I think."
"don't say that, I believe everything you say and then tell people. If it's not true don't say it."
"You are smart." I didn't help her. " I take that back you're not smart at all."

A boy and his stick

Some are fearful of his stick, others are simply in awe. Fight on boy, fight on...

Miffed

I have a new teaching position that allows me hours of freedom, this does not cause me anger, the boredom does. The sale of our house does not make me angry, the 3 weeks of angonizing waiting due to the incompetency of others makes me angry. The $700 apartment doesn't make me angry, the twitching roaches greeting me in the morning on my kitchen floor and the stale smell of feet and must angers me though.
My husband gone away to a far away place during the week doesn't make me angry, his place is taken by a 5 year old head-sweating, urine smelling "man of the house", nothing about that makes me angry.

I can't say that I'm angered over anything specific, more or less miffed by the compilation of the little things. I don't like my current place in life, but it is only temporary. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
So if you wonder why I am not blogging much, my miffidyness has sapped my humor, so all my energy goes to daily mental sanity breaks and a lot of self soothing.
Sorry for the blather...
I would also like to state that living in an apartment has reignited my desire to smoke; this does not make me angry. The 400 lb woman across the way, hacking up a lung due to her chronic smoking and ruining my desire to smoke makes me angry. Needless to say I haven't started up smoking, she hasn't offered me a Virgnia Slim yet!

Unahppy Chauffer, Happy Rider

The rider was pleased with the level of service during her joy ride. However the driver realized he would get nothing out of the driving transaction but a headache and some tears.

Advancement taking the Park on...

The plan is conceived

the approach...



advancing on the challenge
taking position

The turn


The take down

Execution Complete

Thank you God, Joe, & Dodge

We had a wreck ladies and gents...
We decided to go for an impromptu family outing and WAM (not the hit band) we were hit.
We had wrestled with the thought of staying over night at a hotel or something, but we decided to head back at night to save money.
The highways and biways are all 2 laners and we were driving along, singing, laughing having a gay ol time when Joe and I see the same thing. At an intersection we saw a truck stop, then hesitate to proceed, but went ahead with trying to cross the intersection. We were about 50 yards to the intersection, but at speeds over 60 that approached fast. Anywho, so after honking the horn the guy proceeds to pull out but swerves instead. Joe using his amazing defensive driving technique swirved to miss him/ have him hit us at a safer position (My door).
So as we swirved inbetween the oncoming car waiting to turn and the moron's truck I was thinking in slow motion, I'm gonna kill whoever this is, I'm going to kill...!
Crash... pull off to the side. Joe took a breath, I rolled up my sleeves, I was going to come out swinging, cursing, and assulting.
I checked on the babies, Ava was asleep, Gabe was scared but okay and Joe had already jumped out to check on driver dumby.
I have never been in an accident, but thank GOD above my first one was in the Dodge. Joe's manuevering had been perfect, the truck had hit us right in the impact zone. No air bags, and no injuries. It also drove us home safely, although it was a bit loud considering that the 2 side doors didn't close.

Back to my murderous moment. Joe was trying to calm the other driver down as I was shuttering, seething silently in a total rage beside Joe as I gave the evil eye to a stupid teenager who admitted that he saw us coming. He also stated that he though we had a stop sign, even though he probably should have known that we did not since he lived in the area.
Gabe and Ava began to cry shortly after I was spreading hate with my eyes and yelled at Joe to quit trying to calm the kid down. He should have felt bad. He could have really hurt us if Joe hadn't drove defensively. Joe tried to reason with crazy killer me, but I still feel the same way.
I did clam down when I realized that if I allowed my time bomb of rage to explode that I would appear crazy since the perfect moment to come out swinging had really passed a good hour prior to. The cop gave the driver dumby a ticket, I called out insurance, the kid pulled off hanging his head in shame and we drove off safely in our Dodge.
Driver dumby's fear of hurting pretty ladies like myself and innocent beautiful kids will keep him attentive for a real long time!
Needlesstosay this has not cost us a dime and the car is fully recovered, new DVD player still pending, and the side doors look better than before! Thank you GOD, thank you Joe, and thank you Dodge!